27 April 2009

one zero zero

So, this is my 100th post. I feel like I should do something monumental, celebrate one hundred electronic journal entries posted for all of the world wide web to see should they ever stumble upon my humble blog. I suppose I'll be reminiscent about it, and post some of my favourites from the past year. Enjoy.

:: So this is the new year
:: Where else is there?
:: Musings aboard a modern flying machine
:: "You're not silly, you're human"
:: Another sunny days
:: Nature without check with original energy
:: Presence
:: i love my roommate
:: I just can't get enough
:: Snowed in
:: So this is the new year (again)
:: For every atom as good belonging to me belongs to you
:: A few treasures
:: bottle mermaid eyebrow rain
:: face-licked

**as i reread these, i notice all sorts of grammatical errors and inconsistencies. oh well. this isn't work. this isn't school. this is for enjoyment, imperfections and all. **

25 April 2009

dwindling numbers

I love spring time. I love the sense of awakening, of renewals, and of the overall uplifting sense that all will be well.
But spring takes those I love from me. The hardest part of staying in Hawaii year round is that you watch everyone else go. I know I'll see these lovely ladies again, but golly! I just sure love them and I would just like to have them with me always. we tackled bonnie and cuddled on the floor a bit the night before she left.
we ventured all the way into the airport with alyssa and shouted goodbyes as we walked away

now it's just me and spaghettie for the rest of the term. so grateful we ended up roommates. don't know what i'd do without you, G.F. let's just not think about june quite yet


21 April 2009


stroke of brilliance

So I got a new bike a couple weeks ago. Clint Eastwood. 'Spose I'll have some pictures of the handsome fella up soon. I just need to a do a little more work on the paint.

Anyways, so Mr.Eastwood has quite the cushy seat. But the cushy seat soaks up a lot of water. Now, I love having a nice, plump, soft place to rest my tush. I really do -- especially when I'm riding my bike twenty-plus miles up the north shore. I do not, however, enjoy having no overhang to park my bike under when I'm at school. Soggy seat. Soggy seat that makes my tush drippy when I stand up.

And here is where I am a bit vain. I have seen people with plastic Foodland bags over their bike cushions, and thought "Oh gee. Ghetto island at it again." But now I know that those people are placing that plastic as sog protection. As much as I love all the trashy (get it? anyone else use those bags to line your trash cans? hmm hmm?) little quirks of living in this place, I just don't like riding with the white filmly bag and mossy green Foodland emblem displayed across my rear.

And then it hit me: a shower cap.

I am getting one tomorrow.


my first interview was posted today. click on the picture to go check it out! and click here to check Now, Now Every Children's myspace. my goodness, this was too fun. cacie was so nice! and so fun to talk to! a natural storyteller. i barely had to prompt her to get any sort of information. and that was nice because i had no idea what i was doing! can't wait to do it again

Also, two more reviews posted this week: Great Northern and Camera Obscura

always wished i had a tree house

20 April 2009

hello me, where did you go?

today i realized i have forgotten how to be a person.

and this was a long time coming. i'm not sure how it happened, or where. but i just kinda...stopped. i stopped saying things i normally would. stopped speaking up and out. i started getting self-conscious. i started biting my tongue and swallowing my giggles. i started getting nervous and began to doubt.

just a little at a time.

and all of a sudden i was trying to have a conversation and i realized i didn't really know how. i was watching everyone around me be so clever and quick witted. i watched them say silly or stupid things unabashedly. i watched others lap it up and bark out their own replies. and i watched. and wished i could chime in, but i had nothing to say. and it made me real sad.

so i left the house later and i just decided i would blab all night. to anyone and everyone. just say whatever i wanted. even if it was just purring, because i seem to be doing a lot of that lately. and you know what? i had fun. i felt good.

and now i feel relieved. i'm still a person. still a person somewhere inside of myself.

spring time goal to add to the list:
find myself again and be a person all the time.

of mice and kitchens

is it bad that the mouse in our kitchen does not creep me out at all?

and that i really don't care that the little guy lives in our house?

finding that poor little mouse stuck to the trap in our old house was one of the most terrifying things i've seen.

and this little mouse isn't bothering anyone, really. he's probably just lonely and likes it in our house. i don't blame him! i like our house too.

i just don't want to be here when the poor fellow gets caught

17 April 2009

over and over again

it hits me.
my grandmother's death.
i still can't always say that. when i'm talking to people, i just say i had to go home for a bit. i never tell them all of this

When i'm reading a book, or riding the bus, sitting in bed, or singing a song, it hits me. Out of nowhere. And sometimes it is gone again in a few seconds, and other times i need to step out for a little bit.

i had my first real cry the other night. an all out sob to four open ears and two open hearts. i thought hope would make it easier, but i don't think i can fully grasp that yet.

Reading Tuesdays With Morrie makes me feel better about this whole "grieving" thing. It's okay to be sad and let the sadness run it's course. then accept it, set it aside, and replace the space with hope, and pure love.

i'm not sure how long it will take, but just so you know: most of the time, i really am doing okay.

i just miss my grandmother.


by a giant wookie dog:

16 April 2009

as the wheel turns

biking the north shore = bliss

falling in love again

dear body:

i owe you an apology. i know you and i have had a falling out in the past couple years. for awhile i felt like you had betrayed me. the slim figure i once knew was replaced will all sorts of curves and mucles, not to mention the byerly bulge*, and that's a lot for a frame as small as mine. some mornings when i was getting dressed, i'd look in the mirror, pleading "Why don't you love me anymore?!" But as I rode my bike those twenty-some miles in the wind, and Legs pumped up and down like a machine, and Arms held strong, and all felt so good, i thanked Father to have blessed me with such a strong, capable, and healthy body. i think that beautiful bike ride made me fall in love with you again. thanks for always being there for me, and i promise to do you good these next days, weeks, months, and years.


*the byerly bulge is the little tummy that all of the women in my family have. regardless of any efforts to eat super healthy and/or exercise, the bulge never budges.

15 April 2009

logging in

what a great day

8am. wake up with no alarm. eat some kix, watch an episode of Look Around You, and begin working on my next review of this guy
11am. go for a run with two lovely ladies. we ran to a beach park down the road aways and as collette did her lunges, i danced. i jumped and shook and cartwheeled. the sun was shining and i could see the ocean. beautiful. ran home, and did some yoga. 
1pm. smoothie time.
2pm. bike ride back to the beach park, where it began raining shortly after we made it to the sand. figures. so we climbed trees instead. (photos to come)
6pm. going away party for a dear friend. 
10pm. a trip south to world war II bunkers, for a slightly creepy adventure and some night sky action.
12am. late night talk with my dear roomie.

next up this week: bike ride up to north shore, acai bowls, dinner party, bishop museum, my first interview with this band, read a few books, and lots more beach time. 

13 April 2009

a good start

my body knows the semester is over.
my appetite has left me again. now that the stress and chaos is over, my body no longer feels the incessant need to eat constantly.
my body also feels like sleeping. all the time.

after six hours of deep cleaning, our house is full of refreshing open air.
this week will be completely devoted to my own deep cleaning, spring rejuvenation

and looking forward to each and every day