silly birthday faces

the dilemma

Hi friends

Since you are all excellent advice givers, I would love to hear your thoughts.

BACKGROUND:

I left Hawaii because I wasn't happy there anymore. At that time, they did not have a museum studies program, and I was trying to break into the museum world. I was working a job I hated, and I had no time to enjoy the island that I love so much.

So, I moved to Chicago to go to school and get some experience in some awesome museums. This has been successful, because I completed my grad program and I got a part-time job at a fantastic museum. My long-term goal is to return to Hawaii and work in a museum - preferably the Honolulu Museum of Art.

THE (POTENTIAL) DILEMMA:

My part-time job at the museum is also "temporary." This means that in August, either I'll be promoted to a different position (if one is open), I will be offered to renew the position, or I will be out of a job. I have no idea which one. In the mean time, I need to find another job to make money to live.

Potential Dilemma #1: Find another part-time job to supplement my income?  Or search for a full-time position and abandon ship at the my current part-time job if I can find one?

Potential Dilemma #2: The Honolulu Museum of Art is hiring for a full-time position that I am fully qualified for, and that I would enjoy. It is not quite my dream job, but it would be an excellent start at that museum.

I already applied.

So this potential dilemma would be actually getting the job. Will I take it? Is it too soon to leave Chicago? Am I giving up an adventure here just because I miss Hawaii? I want to get back to Hawaii in the long run and I don't want to miss a great opportunity there. But, I would miss lots of things about Chicago, too. I have not been in Chicago for very long, and I don't want to cut this experience short before I see what else it could bring.


QUESTION FOR YOU(S):

What do you think about this?
Have you ever felt like you cut an opportunity short? How do you decide what risks to take?

I'm know that prayer is a big component of this, but sometimes answers to prayers aren't made evident because both answers are good and right and exciting. Sometimes God trusts us to make our own decisions, and I so I'm curious how my friends go about making those decisions...

funny things

::I dropped my lunch on the floor twice at the museum. One plate of rice and shoyu chicken all over the carpeted 5th floor kitchen. And the other time I dropped a plate of chicken pasta all over the floor of the elevator. With museum visitors inside. I was dubbed "Messy Intern."

(BTW: Did I ever tell any of my blog reading friends I got a job at the museum? It is only part-time and I am still interning but it is a great start!)

:: My mom texted me this:

"The world is a safer place...because of the Avengers. I am really the black widow."

:: A bunch of geese crossed the street the other morning REALLY slowly. One of the geese even just stood in the middle of the street and walked back and forth, stopping traffic in both lanes. I was surprised that the cars didn't honk at the geese - but then again, they did use the cross walk

:: I bought myself a Labbit for my birthday. What is a labbit, you say? Well, let me show you! Labbits are only the most hilariously adorable creatures ever:

I really thought I had more funny things to share, but now my mind is blank. 

frustration

so this post is a bit selfish, but i think that sometimes if you have frustrated feelings about things, it is good to talk about them. sometimes talking about things can just perpetuate the frustration and put you in a box (in THE box, for those of you who did the workshop). but i think sometimes it is okay. for your sanity, ya know.

something that i am feeling frustrated with right now is very silly. and i realize this. but my logical self realizing something does not always change the way i feel. even if it is silly.

some days it gets very tiring to log onto facebook and see more and more friends getting engaged and getting married. these are happy things and i am very happy that these things are happening to my friends! of course i am glad about it. but every single day seeing multiple friends get engaged and multiple friends get married and even more friends having babies reminds me that i'm not doing any of those things. and that i'd really like to do all of those things.

i have been in a wonderful relationship for over two and a half years now, and i'm very happy. but i think growing up LDS has given me all sorts of expectations about relationships and timing and "progress." some days i feel like a failure for not being engaged or married or pregnant. (and in that order.) some days seeing all of my friends move through those stages of life makes me feel like i'm not getting anywhere. because i've been trained to see those events as progress - and in many ways they are.

so while i'm not frustrated that my friends are getting married and being happy, i'm frustrated with the culture that has taught me that something is wrong if i'm not doing those things. the culture that makes me feel like if i've been in a relationship for nearly three years and i'm not engaged to be married yet, then what am i doing wrong that's keeping me from getting there.

i know that timing is very important and there is a time for everything. (name that scripture/simon&garfunkel song)

and i know that we all take different paths to get somewhere.

i guess i just feel frustrated feeling like a failure for being on a path that seems so off from where everyone else appears to be.

have you (collette/alyssa/jane who i know will probably read this) ever felt this frustration?

the need to create

the other night i felt like i was going crazy. almost finished with school. lots to do at work. messy house. hungry. wanting to work out and get toned, but feeling tired and lazy.





and so at 11pm, i decided to sew a little creature. and i felt SO...SEW much better.

and the next morning i made little flag thingies to hang in my window.

it's amazing how much we are wired (or at least I am wired) to need to create and do creative things.

do you ever get the feeling that if you don't make something you'll explode? 

plants and animals

some shots of my house plants and the animals that live across the street:

long over due

I have one week of grad school left. Last week was the "White Glove Ceremony" for my program. All of finishing the program were given our unofficial certificate and a pair of white museum gloves. We have to pay $20 for our real certificate. (Really? After giving you thousands of dollars, I have to give you $20 more to prove that I did all those classes? I think that is so silly. Please take that $20 from my materials fees, thanks.)

A person honked at me at a red light the other day. For stopping. At the red light. While  a woman and her child crossed the street. How dare I stop in a situation like that!

I got a spray tan last week. My first ever. I used to have this "thing" against spray tans. Like it was giving in to The Man. Or betraying the sun or something. But I like being tan. Having golden skin makes me feel better about the way that I look and it makes me feel healthier. And in response to that, I tend to treat my skin and myself better, and act healthier. So why not? I could use Trav's discount and have one of his coworkers give me a tan, and I wouldn't have to worry about the skin cancer. The catch was that I wasn't supposed to get any part of my body wet for 10-12 hours. That was so much harder than I thought. I leaned up against the kitchen counter and later found a big white stripe across my stomach. In my sleep, I put my hand on my arm and sweat, and so I woke up with a handprint on my arm. (Fortunately the tan had set by then, and I most just left prints in the bronzer and it evened out...Whew!) 

Here is a crappy picture of my tan afterwards...BIG difference from my white skin. The whitest skin I've had since I was 17. The whitest skin I've had since I've been away from Hawaii the longest since I was 18. 

In other news, we waited outside for 1.5 hours to get doughnuts, and naturally after waiting that long, Travis wanted one of every kind of doughnut. So we came home with nearly $40 of doughnuts and spent our entire Saturday on the couch watching White Collar, eating. It felt so good to honestly and completely RELAX.