i love my roommate

This is what my roommate and I did instead of our homework:

presence

The past week or so I've found a few minutes each day for some leisure reading -- you know, the kind of reading you do for fun, not for a grade. It feels so good. But instead of expanding, I've returned to an old favorite for much needed enlightenment: Eat, Pray, Love. Following are exerpts from a section on yoga.

"The Yogis say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality.

We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire universe. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character.

We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine. Before you relaize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair...

'You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not.' - Epictetus

Yoga is about self-mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence...

This world [is] an equal manifestation of God's creative energy -- men, women, children, turnips, bedbugs, coral: it's all God in disguise."

I definitely don't have an affinity for yoga. I've tried, and I'm terrible. I find it so uncomfortable and painful. Instead, I like to make up my own poses, ones I find enjoyable and fun, ones that stretch me without feeling like it's tearing me in two. What I love about yoga (and many many other things) is feeling myself in my body, and my body as part of the world.

i can't tell if i'm horrified or delighted

either way, it makes me laugh
we watched this in my cultures of asia class today:

Part I: Morning Rush

My eyes flew open. I stared at the white ceiling and the rays of sun spilling through the window slats. Hazy, sparkling air stared back at me. Good Morning.

I sat up in a rush and scrambled to the end of my bed. I'd had trouble sleeping, so I flipped my pillow to where my feet usually rested, and now my alarm/phone and my bed stand stood at the other end. 7:34am. Oh. I exhaled relief. I still have another half hour to sleep.

"Sunshine, I'd really like to tell ya, oh my Sunshine...." Good Morning. I stretched and turned, sat up, popped my back, let out a lion's roar of a yawn, and turned the welcoming sounds of Matt off. I glanced at Sleeping Beauty. She mumbled "Good Morning" and rolled over. I grabbed my lap top and my books, left our cozy bedroom, and sat down at the stiff, strong dining room table. Homework.

9:30am. I patted myself dry with a fresh towel. I wiped the makeup from under my eyes and dried my hair. I pulled on my swimsuit and opened the door. "You missed a couple phone calls." I threw on a jumper and went outside. My car was fixed! I called Ting, Christina, and Alyssa. Time to go!

First I picked up Alyssa, then Christina, and then Ting. One eye stayed on the clock and I could feel that our rush to catch the 10:30 bus was going to be close. As we passed the Chevron, TheBus loomed ahead. It had pulled over at the PCC to pick up some passengers. "Go! Go!" I hit the gas and passed TheBus. It pulled up behind us. I pressed down even harder on the gas. As the road turned, I kept my eyes out for a police car, and my eyes back on TheBus. It was gone. I called Collette and asked her to bring my towel outside, "It's going to be close! We're almost home, come out to meet TheBus."

As I pulled into the driveway, I felt so good. I hadn't driven in almost a month, and having control of where and when I go was refreshing. As I shifted the gears and pulled up the brake, I heard a shout. TheBus was right behind us. Ting hopped out of the car, waved his arms, and ran. TheBus stopped. Without looking behind me, I grabbed my keys and headed toward the house. "Collette! Collette!" She came running out of the house carrying my towel. I grabbed it from her and we turned to see Christina and Alyssa sprinting across the grassy lot.

I felt the wind blowing back my hair and I felt the still dewy grass squish beneath my feet. I was running too. I heard Collette's laugh and I smiled, too. Running felt so good. The air felt so good on my skin. I pulled my two dollars from my pocket and slid them into their place. I was short of breath and laughing. The hiccupping laughs sounded so outside of myself. Good Morning! Today is going to be a good day.

a grand adventure

this weekend, we went exploring. no plan, no timetable. nada. zippo. so much to write that i got a head start while we waited for TheBus.



Full story to come soon. if i ever find time.

all photos by dear ting!

i am charlie bartlett and i am not alone

my new favorite movie:

Charlie Bartlett. Tale of a charming young hooligan, trying to save the world -- or at least his high school. The actor is a cute, young Russian, Anton Yelchin, and the film also features the lovely Kat Dennings. A bunch of messed up kids realize they aren't alone with the help of fancy-pants Charlie. There's love, drugs, and plently of hilarious lines in between the magic that's happening. Mmm, how I enjoyed it.

Here's a favorite scene:

Charlie Bartlett: I just think you're missing the big picture.
Kip Crombwell: What big picture?
Charlie Bartlett: The universe.
Kip Crombwell: What about the universe?
Charlie Bartlett: Well, the universe is a pretty big place.
Kip Crombwell: Yea. It's infinite, theoretically.
Charlie Bartlett: Right, which means there's probably life on other planets.
Kip Crombwell: Not life like we think, but yeah. Probably at least single-cell organisms.
Charlie Bartlett: Well, see, that's my whole point. I mean you could've been born a single cell organism on the planet Zortex. In fact, given the odds, it's probably more likely, but you weren't. You were born a human being. And not just any human being in the history of human beings, but a human being that gets to be alive today. That gets to listen to all kinds of music, that gets to eat food from every culture, that gets to download porn off the internet. So really, you have everything to live for.
[pause]
Charlie Bartlett: Do you feel better?
Kip Crombwell: Not really.

Just trust me; check it out!

thank goodness

little red note

Just as I was feeling exhausted and ready to quit this evening, I opened my choir folder. I was sitting in sectionals and I just couldn't bring myself to sing. I glanced down and I saw an unfamiliar red slip of paper with my name at the top. I pulled it out and read.

The paper said hello and asked me how my semester is going. "I'm sure the semester will come with its trials and burdens, but isn't it great that your Heavenly Father knows you and loves you, and put you in this concert choir among people who love you, your choir family?!" The words blurred as my eyes teared up. The little red note told me that my countenance and spirit bring something special to the choir, and that my smile and laughter is looked forward to each day. "I love you!"

I broke down right there. Just that day in choir, I looked around at all the lovely people, and as I thought of the trials my brothers and sisters are facing, I thought "So-and-so could probably use a lift. I think I'll write her/him a note, just to say 'I love you.'" And lo and behold, just when I needed it the most, someone was thinking of me.

Little Red Note Writer, thank you. I love you, too.

blowin' in the wind.

finally, it is november. already, it is november!!!


after returning home from halloween festivities, collette and i made music. these girls are all the rage: first aid kit. cute little swedes. lovely fleet foxes covers (among other lovely songs as well!)


i was thinking about novembers past, and i remembered the last november i lived in iowa (or was it the one before that?) we had a tornado -- highly unusual for that time of year. some junior high and high school kids went to "clean up." here's the photos from that day:




we began in the fields, picking up scraps of metal, clothes, toys, food, and well, chunks of houses.
















































































































the houses were marked with either an "x" or an "ok"
the "x" houses were declared uninhabitable.


this is one of our teacher's houses. the entire home was lifted off of its foundation.

sleep tight.