today at the dentist

*first a note: until today, i had only ever seen one dentist for my entire life. he had a practice in the first town that i grew up in, and when my family moved, he moved his practice to a nearby town and we continued to see him. even when i moved to hawaii, i would wait until visits to my parents to go to the dentist, but now that my parents have moved, i have to see their new dentist*

• The dentist stuck this thing in my mouth and told me to “go ahead.” I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything, and she said “Good job.” This happened about 15-20 more times. So a few of the times I blew into the thing she put in my mouth and a few times I inhaled instead. Every time she told me “Good job.” I have no idea what that thing was.

• The dentist made me wear safety goggles. I am at the DENTIST. Why do I need safety goggles????

• The dentist wanted to take 18 x-rays. That seems like a lot. Fortunately, the x-ray thing didn’t fit into my mouth, so I didn’t have to do those x-rays. Then the dentist told me it didn’t fit in my mouth because I have “an extra bone.” (I don’t think that’s right.)

• The t.v. above the chair I was in didn’t play a movie like in other dentist offices. Instead it just played country music and showed a picture of a puppy chewing on a candy cane.

The best part of this experience was when a Dixie Chicks song came on and I didn’t have a cavity.

silly birthday faces

funny things

::I dropped my lunch on the floor twice at the museum. One plate of rice and shoyu chicken all over the carpeted 5th floor kitchen. And the other time I dropped a plate of chicken pasta all over the floor of the elevator. With museum visitors inside. I was dubbed "Messy Intern."

(BTW: Did I ever tell any of my blog reading friends I got a job at the museum? It is only part-time and I am still interning but it is a great start!)

:: My mom texted me this:

"The world is a safer place...because of the Avengers. I am really the black widow."

:: A bunch of geese crossed the street the other morning REALLY slowly. One of the geese even just stood in the middle of the street and walked back and forth, stopping traffic in both lanes. I was surprised that the cars didn't honk at the geese - but then again, they did use the cross walk

:: I bought myself a Labbit for my birthday. What is a labbit, you say? Well, let me show you! Labbits are only the most hilariously adorable creatures ever:

I really thought I had more funny things to share, but now my mind is blank. 

the need to create

the other night i felt like i was going crazy. almost finished with school. lots to do at work. messy house. hungry. wanting to work out and get toned, but feeling tired and lazy.





and so at 11pm, i decided to sew a little creature. and i felt SO...SEW much better.

and the next morning i made little flag thingies to hang in my window.

it's amazing how much we are wired (or at least I am wired) to need to create and do creative things.

do you ever get the feeling that if you don't make something you'll explode? 

plants and animals

some shots of my house plants and the animals that live across the street:

long over due

I have one week of grad school left. Last week was the "White Glove Ceremony" for my program. All of finishing the program were given our unofficial certificate and a pair of white museum gloves. We have to pay $20 for our real certificate. (Really? After giving you thousands of dollars, I have to give you $20 more to prove that I did all those classes? I think that is so silly. Please take that $20 from my materials fees, thanks.)

A person honked at me at a red light the other day. For stopping. At the red light. While  a woman and her child crossed the street. How dare I stop in a situation like that!

I got a spray tan last week. My first ever. I used to have this "thing" against spray tans. Like it was giving in to The Man. Or betraying the sun or something. But I like being tan. Having golden skin makes me feel better about the way that I look and it makes me feel healthier. And in response to that, I tend to treat my skin and myself better, and act healthier. So why not? I could use Trav's discount and have one of his coworkers give me a tan, and I wouldn't have to worry about the skin cancer. The catch was that I wasn't supposed to get any part of my body wet for 10-12 hours. That was so much harder than I thought. I leaned up against the kitchen counter and later found a big white stripe across my stomach. In my sleep, I put my hand on my arm and sweat, and so I woke up with a handprint on my arm. (Fortunately the tan had set by then, and I most just left prints in the bronzer and it evened out...Whew!) 

Here is a crappy picture of my tan afterwards...BIG difference from my white skin. The whitest skin I've had since I was 17. The whitest skin I've had since I've been away from Hawaii the longest since I was 18. 

In other news, we waited outside for 1.5 hours to get doughnuts, and naturally after waiting that long, Travis wanted one of every kind of doughnut. So we came home with nearly $40 of doughnuts and spent our entire Saturday on the couch watching White Collar, eating. It felt so good to honestly and completely RELAX.

into spring

I remember when my blog used to be thoughtful posts on various topics I think about or study. I feel like the past year or two has mostly just been posts about my life to keep friends afar updated. And I'm okay with that. And just so you know, I still think about significant things and insignificant things all the time. But I think most of the time I end up just talking about them out loud and I don't find the time to get around to writing those thoughts here.

Today is no different. Here are some things that have happened lately:

Travis decided to buzz his hair! I think he looks rather handsome, myself. 

Be present in each moment. Enjoy nature's changing beauty. Seek peace and love.

Trav's brother Sean is in town right now! He and I went for a walk through Lincoln Park and into the Zoo the other day, and we came across this lovely sign over looking the pond.

It was such a beautiful day at the museum that I ate outside and took pictures on my lunch break.

Alyssa missed a layover and got to stay the night in Chicago! We stayed up all night talking and giggling and maybe slept for 3 hours before taking her right back to the airport.

The gorgeous weather took a turn for the rainy and foggy. Very Dark Night.

We went to the Field Museum to see mummies but it was sold out! So we got advance tickets for next week.

And instead we spent the afternoon at the planetarium! Sean fell asleep about 5 min. into the star show we saw.

In other news, a job opened up in the education department at the MCA and my supervisors encouraged me to apply. I interviewed this past week, so hopefully I will get it! It is just part-time, but I think it will be a great foot in the door!

Also, my friend Cassie moved to Bermuda, and I found a roundtrip ticket for about $400. I am making a plan and saving up to be able to go to Bermuda this August! Travis and I were talking about how we both always have big plans for traveling but we never go anywhere. We decided that instead of trying to plan travel around our lives, we will just plan far ahead and commit to travel plans, fitting our lives in around it while we are still young. 

So hopefully I will see New York, Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, Oahu, and Bermuda before the end of the year. That's doable, right?

working it out

Today was a rare day off from both the museum and school.

So I slept in until 11:30, cruised the internet until 1:00, showered, then spent until 5:30 doing homework while Hulu played in the background.

Then I skyped with a dear dear friend until it was time to head to the gym.

You see, this whole "health" thing has inspired me to get to the gym. I can get a discount through Travis, and my membership comes with free classes. So tonight I was going to begin my exercise hiatus with a barre class. When I told my friend this, she told me to be prepared because it would be tough. And then I got scared and wanted to just stay home and keep skyping instead.

BUT

I went to the gym anyways. Where I ran into the membership advisor who said my pass wouldn't start until tomorrow. I could still use the equipment if I wanted though. Then I realized I had no idea where the class was anyways so I just came back home. I decided I would go back to the gym later to run.

And now I'm talking to family and an old roommate - both of which I have not spoken to in months.
And I think missing class tonight is working out just fine.

the gamble

This past weekend Travis and I moved out of the suburbs and into Chicago.

After a late night of packing (until 1:30pm) and an early morning of loading a moving van (5:00am), and then unloading the van, and then taking a train and returning our keys and packing up a car full of more stuff, we were extremely exhausted.

So we decided to go to the casino.

Travis found a $100 chip for the casino in Aurora. It was on the way out of town. We took down 5 numbers off of a receipt in the car, and decided to pull up, go inside, put that $100 chip down on those numbers, and then walk away no matter what happened.

Turns out it was our lucky day, because this is what happened:

(We won $700. I decided to hold my half of the winnings up with the return of the security deposit. Felt like such a BALLA! HOLLA!)

thinking about time

Today is the 3rd anniversary of the day my gram died. I held her hand as she went, and that is a moment that will never leave me. Grief still comes in waves. I know that that everyone's grandmothers die, but mine was one of my very best friends and the absolute best woman I had ever known.

Tonight as I watched the newest episode of Glee, I felt heavy and light at the same time. I thought of a dear friend who harmed herself a lot in high school. I remember her describing how dark she felt, and I remember taking a knife from her and cleaning the blood off her wrists. I remember nights in fear as both of us worried she might take her own life.

As far as I know this friend is doing great now and living a happy life. And I'm glad for that.

I then thought more about my grandmother and the harsh experiences she went through, and her positive attitude and strength and grace that never left her. I think of the nights she went dancing, the gardens she grew, the books she read, all the dessert she ate, and the countries she traveled. My grandmother did not take a day for granted, and I am filled with shame when I think about all the time with her that I took for granted. I would give anything just to have one afternoon with her, to introduce her to Travis, and to hug her.

I guess tonight was an affirmation of the goals I have set for myself this year. I don't want to waste anymore time doing anything halfway. If something is not making me happy or not working, then it needs to change. No wallowing, no lingering. Lots of enjoying and lovely moments and making the best. 

carry on

right now i am loving fun.'s new album some nights. i think this song is very moving, and i am singing it to you my dear friends. if you are ever having a rough time, please read or listen to this. Press play and scroll through the words:

Carry on

Well I woke up to the sound of silence

the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight

and I found you with a bottle of wine

your head in the curtains

and heart like the fourth of July

You swore and said

We are not

We are not shining stars

This I know

Cause I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that

I've closed enough windows

to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone

Or you're sinking like a stone

Carry on

May your past be the sound

Of your feet upon the ground

Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends

at the edge of the night

At a bar off 75

And we talked and talked

about how our parents will die

All our neighbours and wives

But I like to think

I can cheat it all

To make up for the times I've been cheated on

And it's nice to know

When I was left for dead

I was found and now I don't roam these streets

I am not the ghost you want of me

My head is on fire

But my legs are fine

Cause after all they are mine

Lay your clothes down on the floor

Close the door

Hold the phone

Show me how

No one’s ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are

We are shining stars

We are invincible

We are who we are

On our darkest day

When we’re miles away

So we’ll come

We will find our way home

Carry on, carry on

balance

I had this morning off at my internship because of the holiday. I still have class tonight, but that left me with a lot of hours to fill. So, I decided to try something new to increase my productivity and satisfy my need to just chill.

I slept in and then gave myself a "start time" for the day. Until that time, I could do whatever I wanted. I could just meander on Facebook and Tumblr, eat breakfast, sleep longer, anything. 

Then, at the start of my day, I set a "fun time #1" and I had to finish certain tasks in the next 1-1.5 hours before I could reward myself with "fun time." 

Then I at the start of fun time, I set a deadline before I would have to get back to productive time. 

And I have been doing this in rotations for the past 6-7 hours. And I must say, so far it is working great! I let myself get my social network business out of the way, so I didn't feel distracted when I started my first session of homework. As a reward for finishing, I played around a little more online, then decided to exercise and shower with the remaining time. That reenergized me, and I was ready for round two of business time, and I got so much done! I made all the phone calls I needed to, packed up things in my room, completed assignments for both of my classes, and did the dishes. During round 2 of fun time I painted my nails and texted friends, and I am about to start round 3 of fun time with a Project Runway rerun.

Now, if only I had this much self control in scheduling myself every day. 

You know what, why not? I will practice and soon every day can be like today!

healthy decisions

Since my word for the year is HEALTH, I have been trying to make the healthy choice in every thing I do:

• Quitting my current part-time job in order to spend more time at the museum for my internship and to focus on school. Even though this is causing some complications, it is more important for me to focus on the things that will lead me to a fulfilling career.
• Going to the laundromat on Saturday afternoon instead of staying home in my pajamas all day. Clean clothes, sheets, and towels just feels better.
• Cutting my hair even though I really want it to be long and beautiful. Hair needs to be cut and trimmed to keep it healthy. Length will come in time, but I do need to make sure I am taking care of my hair first.
• Not eating pixie sticks for dinner even though I really want to. Sometimes when I get really stressed out, all I want to eat is cereal and candy. Travis made me food the other night because he knew I was just going to have cereal for dinner. It is better for me to eat REAL food and healthy food when I am stressed out. Those pixie sticks might make my heart feel a little better, but better food will put me physically and mentally more at ease.
• Packing up the apartment little by little now, because it will save my sanity in three weeks. 

I thought I was going to just trim my hair, but then I ended up cutting off a few inches and trying a new style. Trying new things can give you a healthy does of perspective and a fresh point of view!

intern diary

Sorry I'm slow at updating, but to those of you who read this and do not know already, I am now an intern at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago!

It is an amazing museum and one of the top contemporary museums out there. Getting an internship here is kinda a big deal...and I got two. I feel SO blessed every day that I am in the museum. This is the career I want and it feels good to know that and to work towards it.

My first day was kicked off with a tour of the museum - well, a tour of the offices of the museum. I got to meet department heads, curators, tech guys, and the secretaries. I filled out some paper work for the intern coordinator and got my picture taken for my I.D. and the museum "yearbook." I also got a run down of some future projects.

My second day started off with a very exciting meeting with artist Jimmy Robert. He is an emerging contemporary artist and has won quite a few awards in the past few years. He does 2D and 3D art as well as performance. His 2D art is really fascinating because he starts with a 2D image, then turns it into a 3D collage, then scans that 3D collage back into a digital 2D image. Then he prints out that image on super thick paper that is pinned to the wall in the exhibition. Over time the paper curls and it becomes 3D again. Like this: 

For Public Programming, I am in charge of submitting our monthly events to a website and radio station we partner with. I upload our images and audio recordings of events, along with some text about the events, to the website. 

I also compiled materials for the Education Advisory Committee meeting. This meeting happens three times a year, and is an opportunity for the donors and board members to meet with education department members. (Lots of very important people with lots of money!) I gathered the agenda, minutes, and information about various events, and distributed the folders to all members during the meeting. I will be in charge of the program for an artist talk/performance coming up soon, and I'll work the event that day.

The most exciting project I am doing for Public Programming right now is the audio tour mixtapes. For our 1980's exhibition coming up next week, several artists in the exhibition put together playlists of songs from the 80's that have inspired them. I figured out what songs we have the legal rights to, and I have been hunting down the tracks on iTunes and hard copies of cds of the other songs we cannot find online. I'll buy all the songs and then upload them to the iPods that are used for audio tours. The mixtapes are also being played during the exhibition opening and reception.

For Family and Youth programming, I am mostly helping to organize Family Days. I communicate with artists to find out what materials are needed for their family day stations, and work with them to create a floor plan and shopping list. I'll help get the materials and prep them (tomorrow i am painting!) and will help organize the volunteers who will help us run the event. I also put together the e-newsletter that goes out to MCA members to publicize for Family Day. 

So far there are also some pretty great perks:

• a litte blue card that gets me into every museum in the country for free. and i get 4 guests with me. I am hoping to go to NYC before the end of the year. Anyone want to come with me? 
• meetings with all sorts of famous artists and museum people
• invitations to exhibition openings, artist lectures and tours, and special events like first fridays

This is an AMAZING opportunity and I am trying to take advantage of it and attend every meeting and event I can. And hopefully some day this will turn into my job!

oh hawaii

Lately I have really been missing Hawaii - the food, family, friends, sunshine, sand, salt water, the smells, the greens, the random old uncles talking pidgin at the grocery store.

here are some photos our friend Jenna took for us before we left:

word of the year:

H E A L T H

this year my spiritual, physical, emotional, etc. health are my priority.

Healthy Spirit: daily study and meditation
Healthy Body: daily meals full of nutrients (yes, i’m talking bout fruits and veggies! i am finally eating greens. and taking vitamins.)
Healthy Mind: time management to both work and rest my mind and state of mind. creative time needed.
Healthy Career: quit my part-time job and accepted a 4 day-a-week internship that will help guide me to a fulfilling and exciting career.

this year will be a 365 day detox. 

plans

I wrote a draft post of highlights of Christmas with my family, but I've been lazy with it and sort of enjoying keeping all those good times to myself.

Today is my day off of work this week, and I am getting stuff done.

So far I've eaten a good breakfast, sent some important emails, printed off coupons for grocery shopping, and dusted/cleaned/swept/mopped. It is sunny and my mind is clear, so I figured it would be a good time to spell out some plans* for myself.

[Rather than yearly resolutions, I have a tendency to reevaluate things that I want for my life every few months...and often it changes significantly within that time and my plans either guide what I want or are guided by what I hope to see and achieve.]

1. I want to pay off my current credit card, close it, and open a new one with my bank.

2. I want to write in my journal again.

3. I want to read the Book of Mormon with my man.

4. I want to save up $$$ to take a trip to Asia...more specifically Japan, Korea, and possibly Thailand too. 

5. I want to finish school and come up with a concrete plan for what's next. (Good job in Chicago = stay in Chicago. No job in Chicago = move to Portland?)

6. I want to enjoy showering and brushing my teeth more.

7. I want to remember to take my vitamins and to stop biting my nails.

8. I want to go to Hawaii in June to visit Trav's family.

For today I would like to order that new belt for my record player and savor checking items off my list in my brand new planner.