dear internet

Thank you for helping me to keep in touch with my friends living everywhere. I get so excited when I see posts from my friends in Utah, or Hawaii, or Canada, or Korea, and who knows where else. I love reading more details about your life than photos on Facebook give me. Sorry I do not update as much, but I will try to do better. If I expect my dear friends to post at least once a week because it makes me happy, then shouldn't I be writing for my friends too?

Life right now is mostly class and work. I am working at a children's fitness center, which some close friends and family will find quite amusing considering I am not a "kid person." I am the baby of my family and have never spent much time around children. I never took moms up on their offer to hold their baby, and I usually did not do more than smile at kids who crossed my path.

But that changed when I lived with three kids under the age of nine for a year. Having a three year old insist on teaching me how to write my own name, tucking me into bed, and giving me zombie smooches broke down my child proof walls.

My boss and the moms I see at work compliment me on how great I am with kids. I can make kids participate that won't for the other teachers. I can make the kid who won't smile dance with me. I am constantly chased around the gym by giggling 2 year olds.

While working with children is not what I want to do for a career, I think I am getting some good practice for later.

Classes are interesting - right now I am doing research for exhibitions on beer, repurposing objects, and apocalyptic art.
The hardest part is actually doing my homework when I'd much rather be hanging out with Travis. Or playing on Pinterest. 

wicker park

Trav, Ting, and I went to Wicker Park for a ridiculously over-priced craft festival:

I knew that leaving Hawaii would be hard, but I really felt it was time to move on. I wasn't happy at work and I wanted to return to school, but there was no other job for me there and no other schooling for me there. Time for another adventure.

And even though I was sad to leave, I knew that I'd always have family to return to, and I had already decided I want to move back one day. Hawaii is where I want to settle and have a family. I know it may  not have the best schools in the country, but the community really supports its youth. Everyone is family, and that is a really comforting feeling - to know that my kids could go to the park by themselves and whatever aunty or uncle is at the park that day will watch out for them.

ANYWHO:

I was hardly prepared for how difficult it would be to go from living with 11 other people to living by myself, and then to living with two other people. I had no idea how difficult it would be to say good by to the family who took me in for the past two years. As I finished packing my suit case before I left for the airport, Sara (niece, age 3) packed herself a suit case too and said she was coming with me. And it broke my heart to tell her that she couldn't. And it broke my heart again when we skyped a couple weeks later and she asked me to be her date to her birthday party this fall. And then it kills me to be missing Waylen's (brother, age 9) football games - he started tackle football this fall. I had no idea how hard it would be not to hear Ciera (niece, age 9) singing every day. I miss talking with her and hearing her stories about her day. I had no idea how hard it would be to miss Michele's (sister, age 15) junior year of high school. I even miss Sean (brother, age 21) playing video games all night and yelling at the tv. I miss hearing him play the guitar, and I miss his laugh. I had no idea how hard it would be to hug Chantel (sister, age 29) goodbye while we both cried. And of course then there's Mama, Aunt Aud, Chase, and Chelsea. I keep expecting Mama to come home from work, Aunt Aud to be making something amazing in the kitchen while she gives the best advice. And what about Chelsea and Chase? Shouldn't they be in the other room?

Even though I am happy to be on a new adventure, I cannot wait to be back in my Hawaii home again.

I'm totally going to be that mom who cries on her kid's first day of school.