frolics and follies

oh hawaii

2012-01-23T03:59:00.000-10:00

Lately I have really been missing Hawaii - the food, family, friends, sunshine, sand, salt water, the smells, the greens, the random old uncles talking pidgin at the grocery store.

here are some photos our friend Jenna took for us before we left:

word of the year:

2012-01-23T03:53:00.001-10:00

H E A L T H

this year my spiritual, physical, emotional, etc. health are my priority.

Healthy Spirit: daily study and meditation
Healthy Body: daily meals full of nutrients (yes, i’m talking bout fruits and veggies! i am finally eating greens. and taking vitamins.)
Healthy Mind: time management to both work and rest my mind and state of mind. creative time needed.
Healthy Career: quit my part-time job and accepted a 4 day-a-week internship that will help guide me to a fulfilling and exciting career.

this year will be a 365 day detox.

plans

2012-01-05T10:01:00.002-10:00

I wrote a draft post of highlights of Christmas with my family, but I've been lazy with it and sort of enjoying keeping all those good times to myself.

Today is my day off of work this week, and I am getting stuff done.

So far I've eaten a good breakfast, sent some important emails, printed off coupons for grocery shopping, and dusted/cleaned/swept/mopped. It is sunny and my mind is clear, so I figured it would be a good time to spell out some plans* for myself.

[Rather than yearly resolutions, I have a tendency to reevaluate things that I want for my life every few months...and often it changes significantly within that time and my plans either guide what I want or are guided by what I hope to see and achieve.]

1. I want to pay off my current credit card, close it, and open a new one with my bank.

2. I want to write in my journal again.

3. I want to read the Book of Mormon with my man.

4. I want to save up $$$ to take a trip to Asia...more specifically Japan, Korea, and possibly Thailand too.

5. I want to finish school and come up with a concrete plan for what's next. (Good job in Chicago = stay in Chicago. No job in Chicago = move to Portland?)

6. I want to enjoy showering and brushing my teeth more.

7. I want to remember to take my vitamins and to stop biting my nails.

8. I want to go to Hawaii in June to visit Trav's family.

For today I would like to order that new belt for my record player and savor checking items off my list in my brand new planner.

feeling grateful

2011-12-11T19:35:00.003-10:00

Talking with some good friends tonight has made me miss old friends dearly and feel very appreciative for the incredible love and support I have in my life.

So, my dear friends,

Thank you for the the good talks and cuddles,

for all of the absurdity and laughs

for the dancing and the music

for the love, support, good food, and adventures.

I love you, and I miss you, and I will love you and support you even from afar.

"To be surrounded by beautiful curious breathing laughing flesh is enough…" (Walt Whitman)

JEDWARD

2011-12-11T19:01:00.002-10:00

Travis and I have this joke about him being "Jedward" - the best of both Jacob and Edward. (Yes, we've both watched all the movies, and we've seen the last two in the theatre with my mom. Well, I've seen them all in the theatre with my mom, but Travis has been with us for the last two. It's a bonding thing.)

His mother takes family photos for Christmas cards every year, and asked us to send her a photo to put in the card, so we had our friend Elena take some photos for us, and little did I know, Jedward would make an appearance:

lazy lucy and chatty cathy

2011-12-11T18:51:00.001-10:00

Finishing the semester has had two major effects on me:

1) A burst of supreme laziness complete with hours on end of Korean dramas, Chopped reruns, and the movies I didn't want to pay for to see in the theatre. I skipped showers (more than usual) and didn't wash dishes for a couple days.

2) A burst of sociableness. I like people, I do. But I like staying at home and hanging out with Travis more sometimes. Especially if I am tired and have homework. But now without that excuse, I spent the whole night on the phone calling my family and Trav's family, and texting a million friends at once. And I am going to three parties this week.

A side note, I bought these amazing leggings that are pretty much sweater pants. Like comfort for my legs:

Chopped

2011-11-25T07:52:00.001-10:00

Two posts in a row with TV show titles. I wasn't even planning that.

Anywho, anyone who is friends with me on Facebook may have already noticed I cut my hair.

I know that I told everyone and their mom I was growing my hair at least to my elbows. And I tried very hard for the past 3 years.

You see, this is what I expected my hair to look like as it grew longer (except blonde):

But this is really what my hair looked like (and this is on a really good day):

It was not very thick, thinning at the ends, and very dry and damaged on the ends. The longer it got, the thinner and wispier it got.

So I chopped it:

And now it is much healthier, softer, and fuller. But last night I watched Tangled for the first time (LOVED IT!) and now I want to grow it out again. I think yes!!

LOST

2011-11-25T07:43:00.001-10:00

So Wednesday Travis and I drove to my parents' house in Iowa. Well, their temporary home. They moved this summer to SW Iowa near Omaha, and are currently renting a farm house while their new home is being built.

Now, just to give a bit of background, I have never been that great at reading maps. Remember those basic skills tests they make you take from elementary through high school? With math, science, reading, vocabulary, social studies, and map skills? Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was always really good at those tests. I always got somewhere between 96-99% and tested way above my grade level...Except for the map tests. I ALWAYS got only about 70% on map tests. This has always been really difficult for me.

However, we had made this drive before and I paid really close attention to the roads. I studied a map before we left, and I had our route memorized. You see, I wanted to have my ipod plugged in for the drive, and the ipod and the GPS cannot be plugged in at the same time.

So finally, we were about 10 miles from Mom and Dad's house and we needed to turn onto J20. I told Travis to keep his eyes peeled for it, and as I said it, we passed the sign. So we turned around, went back, and saw that J20 went only in one direction. This was easy - let's just turn down the road. So we drove and drove and drove. For a REALLY long time. I called my mom to make sure we were headed the right direction, and she said we'd know if we went too far because we'd end up in the town just 5 miles past their house. I felt reassured and Travis told me to ask for their address so we could put it in the GPS. I didn't ask. I told him "No, she said we'd know if we passed it. We must be okay."

So we drove for awhile longer and ended up just outside a town. Except this was not the same town where my parents work. I called my parents to discover I had driven about 20-30 miles in the wrong direction. Apparently there are two separate entrances to J20 - each about a mile apart and heading in opposite directions. Back we went to the other J20 entrance. I was very upset by this point. We have been on the road for over 7 hours already. It's been a long several days. I was tired. I was grumpy. My ego was hurt. I thought I knew where we were going and I took us in the wrong direction and I was too proud to just use the GPS.

And this time we drove and drove and ended up near another town. This time 15 miles past my parents' house in the other direction. Apparently J20 has a third turn that is difficult to see at night, and we missed this one. I was a wreck at this point and Travis insisted on driving. I was sobbing about how incompetent I am and how sorry I was. And wonderful Travis was so patient and didn't care at all that I added a total of 80 miles onto our drive. My dad drove out and met us where we were and we followed him home.

And naturally, everyone made fun of me. I am definitely using the GPS on the drive home.

skype sesh

2011-11-17T10:13:00.001-10:00

Sara celebrated her 4th birthday on Tuesday, so we skyped with her to ask her about her special day. Some highlights:

S: "Travis, Erta, I don't really miss you guys that much."

S: "I was a Chinese girl for Halloween."

S: "I went to Chuck E. Cheese and played the ball game for you. And I won you lots of tickets to get you surprises."

S: "We can share this bracelet when we live in the same house, if you want."

S: "I am four-years-old already."
E: "Oh wow. You are getting so old. Are you my grandma now?"
S: "NOOOOO! I'm not your grandma!"
E: "Oh, I'm sorry. That's right. You're my uncle now. My old uncle."
S: "Nooooo! I'm not your grandma or your uncle! I'm your sister!"

Well she's not my sister either, but she is the coolest little girl I know. And I miss her very much.

the pickup line game

2011-11-16T19:39:00.001-10:00

trav and i have a new favorite game

I find horrible pick-up lines and then Travis tries to pick me up with them. He tries as many voices as possible and I let him know whether or not it was (surprisingly) attractive. And whoever laughs loses.

Travis could not make it through this line:

“Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.”

And when he delivered this one:

“You must be Jamaican, cause Jamaican me crazy”

I had to kiss him. It was actually really adorable in a super weird way.

Another favorite game is "the Butt Game"

We stick the word "butt" into any sign we see when driving. Ex: "Rick's Auto Shop" becomes "Rick's Butt Shop"

Yes, I know. We're such mature grown ups.

summer lens

2011-11-16T18:45:00.002-10:00

I call my fisheye camera my "summer lens." For some reason the fisheye aesthetic has always breathed summer to me.

i recently developed a new roll of film. these photos are autumn, not summer, but still beautiful i think.

Chicago

Wicker Park Renegade Craft Fair

The new home...for now

My man skating

Multiple exposure

scarecrow fest

2011-10-30T10:40:00.003-10:00

A few weeks ago Travis and I went to St. Charles for Scarecrow festival.

St. Charles was SOOO beautiful!

Travis and I stuffed a scarecrow. We put it on the porch and scared the neighbors. It's a really good scarecrow.

Travis had funnel cake for the first time...But took a picture of me.

We paid a little too much many for a ferris wheel ride. (It was worth it and the man let us stay on extra long.)

And then we looked at all the cool scarecrows

And Travis did the tango with our scarecrow in the elevator. I hope there were security cameras.

some things

2011-10-10T16:50:00.001-10:00

:: - I am now eating kale and asparagus on the daily. Finally learning to like veggies.
:: - Chicagoland drivers are REALLY bad. I don't understand how people in the Midwest can be bad drivers. 90% of people have to drive to get anywhere. How can you be so bad at driving, Chicagoland? Speeding at minimum 20 mph over the limit, not using your turn signals, eating, and talking on the phone are all super dangerous - especially at the same time. Please remember cars are tons of metal and explosive things that can easily kill you and other people. Please.
:: - Travis and I are on a homemade pizza kick.
:: - We haven't seen our roommate Amber for more than five minutes in a week or so. She's really busy.
:: - Why is listening to the radio painful? Maybe I don't know which stations are good?
:: - Only people under the age of 4 think I'm funny. And mostly only when I'm dancing. I think I'm okay with this.
:: - The day after I decided to audition for the Glee Project, I got the flu. And then a cold. And now I have a bad cough. I haven't been able to sing for a couple weeks now.
:: - I am writing this instead of the conclusion of my paper. Why am I procrastinating those last few sentences?
::- I am an enabler. If you want to eat a brownie but say you shouldn't, I will support you in eating that brownie. Don't feel like exercising? Come watch a movie with me. Struggling to write that paper? Take a break and get back to it later.
::- Seeing St. Vincent live was terrifying. I always thought she seems sweet and quirky. She was angry and I half expected her to kill everyone in the audience with her music.
::-There are too many good bands coming to the Chicago area. We actually have to pick and choose because it would be too time consuming and expensive to go to every show. We did however fork out the cash for Feist, Portugal the Man, and Bon Iver. And we're probably going to go to Lykke Li with First Aid Kit. And maybe the National with Local Natives (if it isn't sold out).
::-I get to see my parents and my dog next weekend!
::- Here is a really funny picture:

dear internet

2011-09-26T05:21:00.001-10:00

Thank you for helping me to keep in touch with my friends living everywhere. I get so excited when I see posts from my friends in Utah, or Hawaii, or Canada, or Korea, and who knows where else. I love reading more details about your life than photos on Facebook give me. Sorry I do not update as much, but I will try to do better. If I expect my dear friends to post at least once a week because it makes me happy, then shouldn't I be writing for my friends too?

Life right now is mostly class and work. I am working at a children's fitness center, which some close friends and family will find quite amusing considering I am not a "kid person." I am the baby of my family and have never spent much time around children. I never took moms up on their offer to hold their baby, and I usually did not do more than smile at kids who crossed my path.

But that changed when I lived with three kids under the age of nine for a year. Having a three year old insist on teaching me how to write my own name, tucking me into bed, and giving me zombie smooches broke down my child proof walls.

My boss and the moms I see at work compliment me on how great I am with kids. I can make kids participate that won't for the other teachers. I can make the kid who won't smile dance with me. I am constantly chased around the gym by giggling 2 year olds.

While working with children is not what I want to do for a career, I think I am getting some good practice for later.

Classes are interesting - right now I am doing research for exhibitions on beer, repurposing objects, and apocalyptic art.
The hardest part is actually doing my homework when I'd much rather be hanging out with Travis. Or playing on Pinterest.

wicker park

2011-09-22T04:38:00.001-10:00

Trav, Ting, and I went to Wicker Park for a ridiculously over-priced craft festival:

2011-09-22T04:28:00.001-10:00

I knew that leaving Hawaii would be hard, but I really felt it was time to move on. I wasn't happy at work and I wanted to return to school, but there was no other job for me there and no other schooling for me there. Time for another adventure.

And even though I was sad to leave, I knew that I'd always have family to return to, and I had already decided I want to move back one day. Hawaii is where I want to settle and have a family. I know it may not have the best schools in the country, but the community really supports its youth. Everyone is family, and that is a really comforting feeling - to know that my kids could go to the park by themselves and whatever aunty or uncle is at the park that day will watch out for them.

ANYWHO:

I was hardly prepared for how difficult it would be to go from living with 11 other people to living by myself, and then to living with two other people. I had no idea how difficult it would be to say good by to the family who took me in for the past two years. As I finished packing my suit case before I left for the airport, Sara (niece, age 3) packed herself a suit case too and said she was coming with me. And it broke my heart to tell her that she couldn't. And it broke my heart again when we skyped a couple weeks later and she asked me to be her date to her birthday party this fall. And then it kills me to be missing Waylen's (brother, age 9) football games - he started tackle football this fall. I had no idea how hard it would be not to hear Ciera (niece, age 9) singing every day. I miss talking with her and hearing her stories about her day. I had no idea how hard it would be to miss Michele's (sister, age 15) junior year of high school. I even miss Sean (brother, age 21) playing video games all night and yelling at the tv. I miss hearing him play the guitar, and I miss his laugh. I had no idea how hard it would be to hug Chantel (sister, age 29) goodbye while we both cried. And of course then there's Mama, Aunt Aud, Chase, and Chelsea. I keep expecting Mama to come home from work, Aunt Aud to be making something amazing in the kitchen while she gives the best advice. And what about Chelsea and Chase? Shouldn't they be in the other room?

Even though I am happy to be on a new adventure, I cannot wait to be back in my Hawaii home again.

I'm totally going to be that mom who cries on her kid's first day of school.

i get to see travis tomorrow!

2011-08-28T05:20:00.001-10:00

and i am so excited. i have not seen him in over a month now, and that is the longest I have not seen him in two years.

this pretty much sums up how i feel right now:

my name is erika, and i have a problem

2011-08-21T16:02:00.006-10:00

i'm addicted to korean dramas.

clean start

2011-08-19T19:48:00.002-10:00

i am still unpacking and putting life together, but here are some photos of my house, campus, and the city

welcome rug

campus (hogwarts)

flowers on campus

view of adams outside union station

art institute museum

evening falling

the magnavox

putting the bookshelf together

buckingham fountain

fortune

2011-07-18T00:32:00.004-10:00

2011-07-17T17:26:00.001-10:00

hi again!

so i quit my job at the translation company and i went back to iowa to help my parents pack up our old house. it was hot as the dickens. i wore the same clothes every day and enjoyed the air conditioning while looking through childhood memories.

now i am back in hawaii, spending time with friends, the sun, and the ocean.

and in two weeks I will be living in Aurora, Illinois. and two weeks after that i will start grad school.

here is a funny picture of me sneezing in iowa:

also, in the past year and a half in hawaii i have lost 30 lbs. bodies are weird!

in photos

2011-05-07T09:57:00.001-10:00

oh, and here's the past few months in photos:

haleiwa eats for trav's birthday

zombie attack

massage school graduation

our second valentine's day (he loves me)

kelli left for fashion school, but not until we all sang karaoke

my mom came and we hike to makapu'u lighthouse

and we had a room with a pretty city view

and we went to a skate demo to see super cool pro skate boarders

and so on, and on

2011-05-07T09:30:00.001-10:00

since january i've probably worked more hours that i've worked in my life to this point. i am so glad our office gets along so well, or all those 50-60 hour weeks would have been miserable.

now it's may.
in the past months i've listened to some new music. bought some new clothes, gave away some old clothes. spent time with my friends. said goodbye to friends. i've eaten out several times a week and have managed to never get enough sleep. i've played zombies with children and read books with my mother. i've spent rainy days in bed and some sunny days at the beach. and i've been making plans

and now i have one more month of work at the translation company.

and then i'll return to iowa to help my parents pack up our house. my dad got a new job and my mom is retiring, and they are moving. and i got into a graduate program in illinois.

and travis and i are moving there this august.

in the next months i expect to do lots of packing. i hope to spend lots of time with my friends and at the beach. i want to eat lots of food that i won't be able to eat in illinois. i want to stock up on hello panda, pocky sticks, sour hula keiki, arare, li hing mui, and hi-chew. i'm really excited to spend a good chunk of time back in iowa. i'll be sad to say goodbye to the house we built when i was eight, but my parents already have plans to build a new one. they are moving on and so am i.

i look forward to being able to take road trips to see my friends. i look forward to seasons, to good ole midwestern food and milk and grocery prices.

i'll be seeing you soon, chicago!

h o p e

2011-01-06T22:23:00.001-10:00

i'm such a bum at this. i didn't used to be - at least for awhile.
oh well.

i'm not particularly concerned about my aptitude for blogging or any of the implications.

Although I said I didn't want a full-time job, I somehow managed to get a 9-6 salaried, full-benefited position with a translation company. Jose always sends me e-roses, and I have a lawyer-friend lady in Argentina. I work in an office full of fun girls and we drink lots of tea and eat lots of chocolate.

I don't think me and the office life have a life-long relationship, but ish okay for now. Good professional experience and all that.

For the new year I have decided to take my shiny new moleskin (tank you braddah sean) (ting shen, can you believe i've used all the pages in the one you gave me?) and using it as a daily inspir-journal (still working on the name).

I picked a word to represent my year. A word to drive me and inspire my actions (Thanks for inspiring this action, K.Chun)

hope.

Simple, overrated, underrated, and intricate.

Hope embodies happy feelings, the anticipation of good things, the best of the gospel (gospel means "good news." read: hope embodies the best of good news. i like that.), and zest for life.

Hope is active.

Hope is not hesitant uncertainty. Hope is looking forward and acting expectantly.

Hope is me not being idle, taking some risks, looking forward to the results, and (hopefully) having a great year.

six things

2010-09-24T10:51:00.002-10:00

Well, after graduating college, spending a third of my savings on rent while I tried to find a job, finding a part-time job at an intermediate school, not working all summer, going to Canada, going to Iowa (with Trav!), coming home and still not finding a full-time job and returning to the intermediate school, getting accepted into a grad program and deciding not to go, I have come to a few conclusions:

1. I don't really want a full-time job right now. I just want to save money. This can be done in other ways besides stressing myself out over a job I can't find.

2. Having free time is really nice. Getting bored is a sign of my laziness, and I should cherish this time to do what I please.

3. I don't want to go to grad school.

4. I want to go to Korea.

5. I want to go to culinary art school, specifically, this one.

6. I am interested in a lot of things, but not particularly passionate about much besides my family, Travis, purikura, Korean drama, and Harry Potter. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly, depending on who you are), I love baking. I am passionate about baking. For days I have been reading a recipe book Trav bought me just for fun whenever I have a free minute. I dream about cake pops and chocolate pumpkin bars and the perfect ganache. Baking has always been my release. It relieves my stress, provides an outlet for my creativity, allows me to give to others, and it is delicious and makes me feel very satisfied and happy. I want to be a baker.

fall = new beginnings

2010-09-23T23:53:00.002-10:00

Dear Blog,

I don't really have anything to say right now, other than I fully intend on writing more regularly soon.

I've taken a break from many things I used to do (and sometimes enjoy doing) that became "supposed" to do things. Like exercising. And writing. And keeping in touch with my friends.

For some reason those things became wearisome and not as much fun as they should be.

So, after about a nine or ten month hiatus, I have decided to jump back in.

For this week, I exercised by jumping up and down in my room to music for a few minutes, and doing some sit-ups.

I talked on the phone with Collette, Nicole, my parents, and I text messaged a couple others.

And I wrote this blog post.

I'm going to take my time jumping back into these things, and try to relish the time spent doing them.

See you soon. (I think.)

Sunday Afternoon

2010-07-13T13:59:00.002-10:00

Sunday afternoon my mother and I rented bicycles and rode for a few hours along the canal. It was a gorgeous sunny afternoon. We came back to the hotel to cool off, and my mom opened up our windows. While we had hoped to have a room facing the river, our room faces the back streets - which has turned out to be perfect! We have a view of all the little shops and restaurants and we can hear the street musicians through our window. We’ve spent a good amount of time at night just sitting on the window sill and watching everyone pass.

Well, Mother was watching a couple at a restaurant below our window. She thought the man had lasagna, but perhaps it wasn’t lasagna. She kept staring and talking about their meal and had me come and see if I thought it was lasagna. She thought lasagna sounded rather tasty and watched this couple eat. After about ten minutes, the couple looked up, right at my mother. She felt embarrassed for watching them eat and ran away from the window.

As soon as they finished their meal, we went down and took their table and ordered the same: lasagna. (A very tasty one.)
(Oh, and of course we ended the night with some gelato. Probably my favorite yet.)

I Am My Mother's Daughter

2010-07-13T02:15:00.005-10:00

Saturday after Cirque du Soleil we decided to try out a Traditional French restaurant, complete with table d’hote (or something) - fixed rate, four course meals.

Mother ordered baked cod with cabbage and rice. I ordered smoked salmon on toast.
And it was pretty good.

We took our time and ate very, very slowly.

We left quietly, and a few blocks later my mom says, “I’ve got to admit: French food is not my favorite.”

To which I replied, “Me neither.”

Mom, “We don’t have to eat French food anymore.”

And since we have eaten pizza, cheeseburgers, and lasagna. Oh, and gelato.
I’ve had a chocolate gelato every evening after dinner.
Mmmm.

French food may be elegant, but it is mild, and (to me) tasteless. I figured maybe that’s why they serve wine with everything - to bring out the flavors. I feel no shame in sticking to what I love and just soaking in the atmosphere. We’ve got plans for Thai, Chinese, and reservations at an Indian place on Wednesday.

More updates soon!

TOTEM

2010-07-13T02:14:00.004-10:00

After escaping the pouring rain on Friday to the Underground City for shopping (and Bodies!), Mother and I surfaced on Saturday and saw Cirque du Soleil! In their home venue! A real circus tent! This was their last weekend of shows here in Montreal, so we were very very lucky to find tickets. Needless to say, the performance was incredible. I’d never seen anything like it. I think my mouth hung open in awe the entire time. I also felt a bit anxious though - I was so scared they would fall and die!

But, all made it through alive.

And all was well.

Thank you, Skype

2010-07-13T02:13:00.008-10:00

Oh Baby

2010-07-13T02:13:00.007-10:00

This past weekend my mother and I went to the Bodies Exhibition. It came to Honolulu not terribly long ago, but I never made it. Anywho, it was SPECTACULAR. Fascinating. Mind-boggling. I realized just how absolutely little I know about the human body. It’s so intricate and genius and brilliantly crafted. Seeing REAL bones and muscles and arteries and brains and hearts and lungs (etc) was…surreal.
Most organs just looked kinda gross, the arteries looked like coral, and seeing healthy lungs vs. smokers’ lungs was amazing, but the most powerful pieces of the exhibit were without a doubt the BABIES.

Besides the whole “sex-creates-babies” thing being a bit incomprehensible, seeing actual babies throughout their growth was even more insane. There were small fetuses in glass jars, labeled with the age in weeks. While the first few weeks looked like nothing more than a flesh colored lump, by week six already the fetus looks like a very very mini (like the size of my fingernail) baby. As in, you can make out the head and the face and the curve of the baby’s body! And then seeing each step of the developmental process…and seeing a real uterus and what it looks like pre-baby…and then realizing that that baby goes inside of it…and that it stretches into that huge baby belly?!
Insane.

Oh, baby.

Montreal

2010-07-12T16:05:00.003-10:00

After three days last week, beginning in Honolulu, hopping over to L.A., then to Dallas, then up to Des Moines, then over to Chicago, and finally up to Montreal on Friday, my internal clock is exhausted and very, very confused.

lessons

2010-07-01T10:42:00.002-10:00

I'm really far behind. Rather than try to attempt to catch up with events of the past few months, I'll try to summarize the things I've learned. That's what it's all about, right?

Lesson #1: I have REALLY great friends.

This is not really anything new, but (as much as I love being independent and doing my own thing) being done with school and not living with other students, or other human beings my own age for that matter, can get really lonely. But I'm incredibly blessed to have some real gems for friends. I wouldn't call myself a particular witty or charming person (probably more awkward and ill-mannered), but somehow I found myself some of the most wonderful, giving, silly, hysterical, brilliant, and thoughtful friends.

Lesson #2: Being a kid does not mean you know anything about kids.

I'm the baby of the family. I always will be. I wouldn't say that makes me spoiled or a brat, but just that I always consider myself a kid. And I like that. I think there's a youthful bliss that is too often lost with adulthood, and I plan on keeping my kid-self close to my skin for the rest of my life. However, as I've spent more time with Travis and his family, I've realized I have no idea what to do with children. But I'm learning. And it is a blast! And absolutely exhausting. And I definitely have no desire to be a mama anytime soon. For years. I am completely aware of how much I have to learn. For now I am more than content to spend a few hours every day or every few days with some ridiculously intelligent and creative kids.

Lesson #3: Not having a job sucks. Plain and simple. (But every cloud has its silver lining.)

Everything happens for a reason. Right? Right? My job at the intermediate school ended in May. Fully knowing the end was coming, I began applying for new jobs throughout April. I wasn't too worried when I hadn't found a job by May. I still had a few weeks. And then May came and went. And June came and went. And nearly every establishment on Oahu has my resume. And I still have no job, and no income to pay rent with. Goodbye Savings Account, we had a good run. Unemployment sucks, blah blah blah. But not having a job has given me time to do things I enjoy, to spend time with dear friends, and to finally get some sun. I go to Canada and Iowa soon, and when I come home, my job at the intermediate school will be waiting for me.

Lesson #4: Love grows.

I always knew this, but looking at the calendar and realizing you have spent nearly a year with the most amazing human bean on Earth is a surreal feeling. Time has flown by and every time I think I realize how incredibly amazing this man is, I am hit with overwhelming respect and loyalty and love and admiration. Not much more I can say.

Lesson #5: I live in an incredibly beautiful place and I'm never going to get over it.

oh ya know, just living

2010-06-27T00:33:00.002-10:00

i feel like i probably have a lot to update, and i'm sure i'll attempt to sometime soon.

but for now, i just want anyone reading this to know that i am living. nothing particularly extraordinary. just living. soaking up a drive on a beautiful day. taking my time grocery shopping. inhaling freshly cut grass at the keiki football games. squeezing every ounce of love out of a two-year-old's embrace. cherishing home cooked dinners and movie nights in. actually enjoying being broke and succeeding in not spending money. remaining optimistic (most days) and having hope when i go to sleep.

and realizing how particularly extraordinary every day living really is.

On Being (Super)Human

2010-05-03T11:38:00.002-10:00

So way back in August, Travis and I made a pact: We would become superhumans. We decided that both of us were at too much of a standstill in our lives -- we could be doing more.

And we made a promise to each other that we would do more. We would form good study and exercise habits, eat well, give time to our family and friends. Go above and beyond our responsibilities to push our limits and stretch our capacities. We even came up with a secret "sign" that we could give to each other whenever we were out with friends, just to check up on each other and remind the other to put life into action.

Well, time does what it does. The fall semester got crazy and as graduation approached, I felt too stretched. Christmas vacation was a welcome break, and when I returned to the island, I had all these plans to resume my superhumanness. But plans did not go as planned. I liked the new house I was living in, but I never got comfortable. I felt like a guest. It became hard to exercise or eat well consistently. I felt cramped and stuck. Jobs did not work out as I planned, and all the shifting around threw me off. I just felt uneasy. I didn't get enough movement or sunshine, or any of the necessary elements for growing.

Now I am all moved into a new house. It is closer to pretty much everything. I have more space and great light. I feel refreshed and motivated. I got a good workout in this morning, and I have two or three job interviews this week. Summer is coming and life is starting over again.

Superhuman Training Round Two Starts Now!

hawaii nei

2010-03-23T23:46:00.003-10:00

yesterday at work, as i was walking between classrooms, i glanced up and remembered that i live in HAWAII.

this morning i took a break and went to the beach in kailua. i wouldn't mind just being a bum and getting some sun every day.

here's a look at some of my favorite photos of le aina
(click to view full photos)

today

2010-03-21T22:34:00.002-10:00

.:. the birth of my two favorite twins.

.:. first sunday at the single's branch. not bad. few in numbers, but good people and good discussion. i was a little wary at first -- i love love love our family ward -- but i think it'll be a good experience.

.:. travis got baptized. and (naturally) we forgot to take pictures. lots of lovely faces. two of his brothers came. the youngest one asked if we could say a prayer before we left the church building, and later told us, "you should probably pray about every five hours, huh." oh and travis got lots of cool new ties.

.:. my dear friend jay dalton got engaged!

.:. sara (trav's two-year-old niece) has finally taken a liking to me. when i come in the house she drops everything and yells "hey! what you doing air-tah?" and follows me. she then tickles me no matter what i'm doing, and even tried following me into the bathroom once. she has also started giving me kisses. she'll ask me a question and then as i answer she just leans over and gives me a smooch out of no where and then acts like nothing happened. and when she gives me a hug she kisses my shoulder over and over with cute little baby kisses. if she sees me yawn, she says "time to sleep air-tah" and gives me a pillow and blanket. she tucks me in and lies down next to me. after a couple minutes she shouts "wake up air-tahhh!" and tickles me. i love playing with sara. i'm starting to like little tykes now. babies scared me for such a long time.

i need an entire post of the photo shoot we did that day with her sweet pig tails.

.:. I started to read Believing Christ. And it is good.

Notorious T.I.M.E.

2010-03-14T18:04:00.002-10:00

i always thought i would have more time when i finished school. more time to read for fun, more time to paint, to exercise, to go to the beach, and more time to catch up with old friends.

false.

well, mostly false. i do have more time - but that more is being filled with more things. i have more time to do more work for inyourspeakers. i have more time to do my lessons plans for work. i have more time to do laundry and clean my room. i have more time to spend with trav's family (aka: more time playing with a couple eight-year-olds and a two-year-old). more time to cook good meals.

and i find myself stuck in the same predicament: enjoying what i'm doing, but feeling like i don't have enough time to do things that i really love to do. i think that means i need to work harder to manage my time. i keep putting off the reading and painting and running as extra things for "when i have time."

and that time just keeps moving with me; as i get closer, it gets farther.

dear world (including self): quit trying to do so much all the time. make time just to live and love living.

HAVE JOY NOW

ninjas, naturally

2010-03-10T19:05:00.003-10:00

you're probably sick of seeing photos of us

2010-03-02T11:04:00.004-10:00

i'm turning into a thirteen-year-old

2010-03-01T11:21:00.003-10:00

So for the past month or so I've been working for After School All Stars, a program Arnold Schwarzenegger put together (I know, right?), designed to help intermediate school students succeed in school and life. So many city kids are left with nowhere to go and nothing to do (except make trouble) after school. Our job is to come in and offer a variety of fitness, enrichment, and academic courses for students after school. We have homework hour and study help, cooking, soccer, photography, weight training, yoga, arts and crafts, etc. We are here to be positive role models for these kids.

I don't know if anyone has ever worked with thirteen-year-olds before, but MY GOODNESS are these kids sassy. I really enjoy hanging out with them every day, but seriously? Sassiest bunch I've ever met.

And I think they are influencing me more than I'm influencing them.

Since I've begun working at King, I've gotten hair tinsel, I've gotten sassy, I've gotten more local ("hoh!" "sistah girl" and "you like try?" have become pretty standard additions to my vocabulary), I've gotten Justin Beiber stuck in my head for hours on end. I crave rice and spam musubi all the time and I want to skip work sometimes to go to the skate park.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Just call me Tita.

e-harmony's got nothing on us.

2010-02-04T10:16:00.002-10:00

thanks for actually saying that in real life, trav.

(it's true)

on the hunt

2010-02-02T10:56:00.003-10:00

So, work at Sylvan is great. Very fun. I love working with kids. Why didn't I realize this when I was getting a degree? Not that I'd trade it for ICS -- I learned how to think and look at the world in a whole new way, and that is much more valuable than training for a career.

Unfortunately, the jobs I want right now all have to do with child care. I realized at Sylvan that I LOVE teaching young kids. Why didn't I realize I want to be a preschool or kindergarten teacher until AFTER I graduated?!

I'm considering going back for education...I'm in no rush for my Master's. And I could just transfer all my GE's. Maybe? Who knows.

In the mean time, Sylvan is not giving me as many hours as I hoped. I'm looking for another job.

I just got hired to work for After School All-Stars every afternoon. I'll be on homework support, assisting Kelli teach arts and crafts and journalism, and just floating where the teachers need me. I have Sylvan for the weekends, and I'm trying to find a part-time job for the mornings. Maybe Borders? We'll see.

I'm hoping my work days will run from about 9am-5pm. Trav and I are making a deal with his sister to buy the groceries and we'll cook dinner every night. Help the kids with their homework. We're still catching up on Lost. He's giving me skate lessons, and I'm teaching him to sing. He's still meeting with the missionaries, and we go to the family ward every Sunday.

Life is good. I'm not worried.

beach babies

2010-01-25T12:37:00.002-10:00

same beach. same week.

just a little bit of change to spice things up.

guess i'm going brown for a little while!

p.s. it is a LUXURY to have TIME

the future

2010-01-25T12:35:00.002-10:00

Why does it look blurry even with my glasses on?

Today I am mailing my application for grad school.

But honestly? I don't want to go yet.

I want to go because I want to go, and not because I feel like I have to or because I just don't know what else to do.

The latter two are poor reasons to do anything.

update

2010-01-05T17:54:00.004-10:00

Hokay, since I basically took a semester-long hiatus from this little blog, and I don't know if anyone has followed my tumblr much, I figured I would post an update here for any friends who still check up on it from time to time.

This past semester was...different.

Last June all of my roommates left within a week. One of them came back in the fall. And I got three other new ones (who were great, by the way). But a good share of my friends were gone to other schools, to home, on missions, or at BYU Jerusalem. Had I not made some great friends in the summer (see below), I am not sure how I would have stayed very sane during the week.

(the return of ting shen and ice skating. LtoR: ting, ian, trav, me, jolie, kara, robbie, cassie, ryan)

(Rachael! My room-roommate. Best closet to share. And sometimes we accidentally dressed like twins!)

(Jane Jung. Not another person like her.)

(Bonnie before singing with the choir for Devotional)

(Sunday Dinners - Kara and Cassie)

(Art nights. LtoR: Ian, Nathan, Scott, Berries, and Cassie)

(And of course, the epic Harry Potter Christmas Party)

Besides all these wonderful people, I had Travis. By far the kindest, most patient, wonderful, generous, and well-balanced human bean I ever did meet. And he's pretty cute too. And a total goofball. And the best friend I've ever had. I spent my weekends with him and his family, and let me tell you: Waylen is the coolest eight-year-old on the planet.

(Waylen and his "imaginary friend")

So, I had my friends, I had my sanity. I finished school and my family joined me for graduation. I couldn't be more relieved to be done with school. I pushed myself. I don't think I'd go back and redo it, but it was definitely a decision that came with consequences. I had to make priorities. And unfortunately, that meant that a lot of my contacts back home got left behind. I didn't have time to "keep in touch" during the semesters. I barely had time to see the friends I lived a few houses down from! I took maximum credits and worked maximum hours. And now I feel so good to be done. I think I work best at maximum intensity. And now I have more time to enjoy. I have a job teaching at the Sylvan Learning Center in Honolulu. I have a nice house up in the mountain with pleasant roommates. I've got a car. And I've got time. That one word that makes all the difference. I'm excited to have more time to do things I've always wanted to: write, read, garden, catch-up with old friends, and offer more service.

(My parents and I at graduation)

Right now I'm still in Iowa at my parents', but I return to le aina this Friday. I'm excited to get back to my little room in my nice house, to get back to a steady job, to have sunshine and blue skies again. I'm excited to get back to the family ward Trav and I have been attending. They just don't do church anywhere else quite like they do in Hawaii. I've never felt sooo welcomed into a new ward before. All the members there are great and so loving. Trav is having fun learning, and I'm cherishing my new perspective. Hopefully Waylen will continue to come with us from time to time -- I think he'd have a blast in Primary. But, we'll see. Only Time will tell.

Anywho, I'm quite excited about life and where mine's headed. I'm very happy and looking forward to good things this next year. I'll keep you updated. =)

here's to rama

2010-01-01T07:11:00.003-10:00

“Rama’s nature was quiet and free…He knew when to save and when to spend…He could read hearts. He knew his own faults better than the failings of others. He could speak well and reason in a chain of eloquent words. Half a benefit was more to him than a hundred injuries…and he didn’t believe that what he preferred from himself was always best for everyone else.

Rama was kind and courteous and never ill. To harsh words he returned no blame. He was warmhearted and generous and a real friend to all. He tried living right and found it easier than he’d though…He would not scold the whole world nor take to task the universe, and so his pleasure and his anger never went for nothing.

Rama would not work very long without a holiday; he wouldn’t walk far without stopping to greet a friend, nor speak long without smiling…He loved Sita well; he lived his life for the sake of her being a part of it. He would often find a new gift for his friends. He did not fear to pass a whole day without work…Rama’s way was noble.”

Ramayana (My favorite read of the year. The greatest epic of adventure, trust, loyalty, wisdom, and love. Goal for 2010: Search for wisdom in all good books and mediums. There is goodness sprinkled in all the world has to offer. We just have to make the time to search for it, and listen.)

in review

2009-12-31T17:56:00.002-10:00

So, I figure I'll be starting this little bloglog back up again. I'll have more time to think, more time to write. Anywho, here's a look at the past year....

So, I thought I'd hop on board with all the year-end hubub. This past year was...great! I was a mess most of the time in 2008, and even though I had a fair share of grief, 2009 done me good. Let's review a few of my favorite moments (and series of moments.) In no particular order(ish):

10. Working at the RWC. Best job ever. Hands down. I started in August of 2007. Worked there alll fall, winter, spring, and summer. Coolest (and nerdiest) coworkers. Greatest boss. Hours of laughter at staff meetings and trainings. I've never learned more and had the best time doing it.

9. Hikes. Doesn't matter who I'm with. Something about my feet in the earth, getting my hands dirty, pushing my to its limits and finding out there's more. All that time traveling for my hand to dive down into the soil and back up into the skies, and to come out feeling more like myself and more like the earth, and everything's beautiful.

8. Dance parties. Thank you Cassie for invitations to much needed stess relievers. Dressing up, and boogying down. P.S. Jolie -- why didn't I know you then? I met See Bee way back! Bahhh why didn't we all play sooner!

7. The Outback House. Katie, Rachael, Jane, and Collette made it the funnest, cleanest, most comfortable, and absolutely lovely home. Sharing five closest. Dinners together. The random screams coming from Katie's room. Jane's crazy jokes and late night talks. Rachael making a rap video. Collette and I being married. Oh, and art time together.

6. Tie-dye party in my front yard. The most gorgeous summer day. Lots of great friends. Good music. Everyone coming from the beach, from work, everyone just stripping off their jackets and their shoes. Rolling up their sleeves. Basking in the sun waiting for all to dry. How groovy the clothesline looked with it all hanging up. It was just one of the most peaceful afternoons.

5. Living around the corner from Alyssa. Watching Season Seven of Gilmore Girls every day after school (when we still had time). Nightly hangouts in front of Sam's Store. Her roommates thinking I lived there. Others thinking she lived at my house. The times we squished onto Collette's bed for homework and late night talks. Mornings and afternoons at Hukilau. Trips to town, just to wander: Greek food, the library, and some Menchie's. THANK YOU MENCHIE'S.

4. Biking up North Shore all the way to Shark's Cove. Acai bowls. Back to Keiki's for a day in the sun. Getting absolutely fried. Fighting the wind the whole way back. A stop at Turtle Bay, water, and some free pineapple. Getting face-licked by a wookie dog. No really, click here.

3. Iowa for a couple weeks. Mini road trips with my sister. Field of Dreams. Ice cream capital of the world. Spending afternoons with the twins down at the creek. Dipping in my ankles. Swinging. A backyard picnic party. Harry Potter. Family photo shoots. Catching up with the cousins. Growing corn in our own garden. Cleaning out Gram's old house. The Renegade Garden out back. Knowing I'll never live here again, but still loving the visit.

2. Ridiculously amazing beach days with good friends. Back to the house for talks on the living room floor. FUN PIX. Ice skating. Adventure lists. Shopping malls. Shokudo and honey toast. New friends. A new home. Beautiful, beautiful people.

1. Oh, and falling in love. =)

the time has come

2009-11-04T22:21:00.001-10:00

So, you know me and my whimsical ways. Always changing up this worn little blog. Always after something new. Off to a new blogosphere adventure:

yes. i hopped on the tumblr train.

check out musings and photos there from now on (probably) (at least for awhile).

http://littlemisserika.tumblr.com/

best invention in the world

2009-10-25T08:51:00.002-10:00

it's not just FUN....it's FUN PIX!

....definitely going next weekend with travis. and may invest in one for my future home.

congratulations japan for officially being the coolest EVER.

one more week

2009-10-17T15:10:00.002-10:00

a little listless this weekend without my captain co-captain.

just one more week and a day until my adventure partner returns.

and with him all the vibrancy of life will be amplified.

and i'll be giggling a lot more.

snorting a lot more.

and i'll feel a lot more like i'm not missing an arm or something.

latelyish

2009-10-11T16:35:00.003-10:00

as always photos mostly from cassie and kara. i've been lazy with my camera (which has been dead for quite awhile, charging as we speak). but i have acquired a mac. expect a lot of photobooth fun in the near future. oh oh and in other news travis and i totally made the most amazing driveway fort last night. we were hoping to picnic on the north shore for dinner, but rain spoiled those plans. so, instead we used the clothesline beneath our overhang, and camped out in our makeshift fort with candles and frozen pizza.

yep. life is good.

the options are endless

2009-09-15T23:53:00.001-10:00

It has been over six months now since Gram died. I still have a hard time saying it aloud, and even writing it now is not done so without moments of hesitation.

A part of me may have shriveled up and retreated to the depths of my being that day, but the rest of me -- the greater part of me -- is still young and alive and cannot help but suppose (read: completely knows but is struggling to accept) that my grandmother would tell me to stop fussing and get on with my life. She would heartily encourage me to get out and be filled with the kind of appreciation for life that only comes with risk and adventure, with savoring each and every small moment.

"It happened, it's done, and there's no way for you to go back and change it! So what are you so sad about? Crying won't make things better; crying will only make you sad. What are you waiting for? You'll never know all the answers, so you might as well just make up your mind and do something. Memories you make now will keep you going when you just aren't able to do things anymore. You just never want to look back and feel regret. That...that will just leave a bad taste in your mouth."

So now I'm re-thinking my plans. I've spent twenty years playing it safe and sticking to the books...and well, now I'm about to have a Bachelor's Degree and then what? I know what's supposed to come next, but must I be in such a hurry? I feel like it'd be a shame to pass up all of the wonderful opportunities I have at this point in my life.

No need to guess what radical plans I'm now making; I haven't. But I can. And I may just go for it.

butterflies

2009-09-12T20:01:00.002-10:00

all up in my insides.

for awhile now.

i don't want it to stop.

sunset

2009-09-10T10:28:00.002-10:00

once again, cassie captured some amazing shots at sunset beach.

aunty kythira

2009-09-02T23:58:00.002-10:00

the new wheels.

(named after this greek isle)

that which moves my spirit

2009-09-02T23:47:00.003-10:00

I've recently brought back to life my joy journal -- appropriately dubbed "That which moves my spirit"
and just in time to match these newly penned pleasant notes,
a long run of wildly wonderful, fulfilling days

sunshine.beauty. sand. everywhere. pasta and good friends.sundays.lazy, hazy Saturday afternoons.wandering.purpose.thoughtful conversation.incessant giggling.harry potter.silly internet quizzes.baking.books.alice in wonderland.getting to know someone new and loving every minute. grocery shopping.cleaning. being free.getting organized.doing the dishes. making someone smile.feeling loved.family. and knowing it all just keeps getting better

super saturday

2009-09-01T20:59:00.002-10:00

this past saturday was so wonderful and fulfilling and satisfying. it was just the right mix being productive and doing nothing. spent the morning cleaning and doing the necessities, and then spent the afternoon at the beach with two dear friends. after sunset we ambled home for music, good talks, my first avacado, and the compilation of an adventure list.

thanks for the photos and the fun, cassie!

transitory

2009-08-14T17:15:00.005-10:00

I've always loved airports.
As much as the "waiting" part of traveling isn't terribly exciting, waiting in the terminal is one of the places I feel the most calm and peaceful.
Weird. I know. But hear me out.

As I sat staring at a curly-haired man, I began to think about him. He had brown eyes. Maybe his mother has brown eyes too. Big brown eyes that caught a man from across the room, that drew that man in and swallowed him up as he fell in love. And from that love between that man and the brown-eyed woman came this curly-haired man. Now full grown. Probably loved by women, and loved some back. Maybe he's the life of the party. Maybe he's notoriously shy and reserved. Perhaps he likes poetry -- or maybe action movies. Adventure. Hiking. Coffee shops. Jazz. Hip-hop. Maybe he's afraid of heights, or spiders. Maybe he's afraid of being alone or lost. He probably has secrets -- deeds and thoughts he's never whispered to another soul except for that freckled blue-eyed girl he used to spend nights under the stars with. But she's gone now, and he's waiting for a plane to take him from where he was to where he will be.

That's what I love about airports. That last part. Despite whatever else is going on in that curly-haired man's life, right there in the airport terminal he is in-between. And so is everyone else. Each person in that airport has a life of their own -- friends, family, a job, an education, dark thoughts, lonely nights, sparkling aspirations, quiet hopes, and a roaring appetite for something. But here they are -- not in one place or another. Travelling. Separated. Transitory. In-between.

And somehow that is a comfort to me. And strangely intimate. I get the feeling you can learn a lot about a person uprooted from their environment, with their valuables and neccesities packed at their side, waiting to be suspended in the air for a time.

behind

2009-08-13T22:17:00.004-10:00

I know, I know. It's been weeks. And so much happened and happiness had and whatnot. So here's an abbreviated version of the haps in pictures:

Promise I'll try to update some more this weekend. I've read some great books this summer, acquired some amazing tunes, and learned some valuable life lessons. I want to share! Time, time, time.

48 hours

2009-07-19T18:50:00.005-10:00

I love that Mom bought my favourite cereal and stocked the fridge with root beer and chocolate milk. I love that she bought all the ingredients for smoothies, and all the goods for cookies. I love that by the time I woke up Saturday morning, she already baked a cake, and I love that the three of us had finished it by dinner. I love that Mom says crazy silly things that don't make sense sometimes and I love that we sat down and decorated cookies Saturday night.

nicole's creations were...interesting

an attempt at a nice photo with my dog gone wrong. his head looks huge! and today he "wrestled" with me and drew blood. he's always thought i was a cat or a chew toy or something.

new hammock and chairs in backyard. it looks amazing. my favourite place to relax.

my dad's sweet creation in the "renegade garden." more detailed photoshoot of my backyard and such to come.

they planted corn instead of alfalfa in the lot around my house this year...and i just LOVE it! we are just surrounded by a sea of corn fields!
on another note: i have these black sweatpants at home. they aren't actually mine. we aren't sure where they came from, but i've gotten in the habit of wearing them when i'm home. all the time. every day. they are so comfy! and, well, i don't feel like getting dressed if i don't have to.
well, i think my mom is trying to discourage it. after wearing the sweatpants all day saturday, my mother offered me a pair of her "hawaiian" pajamas to wear saturday night. now, i have other sweats i could wear. she's never loaned me her pj's before...but, they are cute, huh! now i just want new pajamas.
but as soon as i got home from church today....i definitely put those black sweats back on.

(p.s. i need to confess something. i fell in love with country music about halfway through nebraska and i can't stop listening to taylor swift. i'm a bit embarrassed but trying to play it off cool and confident. watch.)

oh! and dad is home now. and has a very hairy face. i almost fell on the ground laughing when i saw him. he just hugged me and said "what's wrong?!" and rubbed his hairy face on mine yelling "i'm the billy goat gruff!" and i said, "you're the jimmy goat gruff!" and then he hugged me again for being so clever. and then he brought out a couple bags of dark chocolate m&m's (our family has a thing) and we all settled into down to watch this scifi movie he's been into. i told him i liked the hammock and he replied "oh you like the hammock?" "yeah i love it." "oh you love the hammock" "yeah it's great" "oh, you think the hammock is great" "yeah dad! love the hammock!" "oh you like the hammock. that's nice." hahah! he is ridiculous.

and tomorrow i get to play with my twins and wear overalls and go watch harry potter. best life ever.

the trip

2009-07-18T17:28:00.006-10:00

I made it!

i landed in salt lake thursday morning, slept all afternoon. and all night. then began the drive at 5:30am friday morning.

we're only a little crazy.

my sister: the bearded mermaid.

the most beautiful sight in the world

18 hours in the car may have side effects

so good to be home.

whiggity whack!

2009-07-14T18:54:00.003-10:00

My my how quickly things can change!

I was all set to fly back to Iowa next week....

and then I called my parents to tell them about my bicycle being stolen....

and then they informed me they were trying to change my plane ticket to tomorrow!

And they did.

And I couldn't be happier.

So, Salt Lake City, I am coming at you bright and early Thursday morning!

Then starting the road trip some time on Friday and getting to sweet Iowa home Saturday evening.

That means FIVE extra days with my dear parents...

...and then road trip back to Provo for a few days! And then Salt Lake for a week or so!

And then back to sweet Hawaii home.

I am stoked right out of my mind right now. That phone call with my parents lifted all sorts of weight I didn't even realize I was carrying. I can't even put into words how incredibly ecstatic I am to see my family and friends. I know one week isn't a lot, but I'm sure the few days will make all the difference.

Dear Heavenly Father, You know me so well. Thanks a bunch!

missing music making

2009-07-09T11:10:00.005-10:00

i miss playing these songs with this girl:

clean getaway from erika ann on Vimeo.

lua from erika ann on Vimeo.

tiger mountain peasant song from erika ann on Vimeo.

luckily friends in hawaii are planning an "unmusical" jam night. no instruments allowed. just inanimate objects, cans, seashells, body parts, and whatever you can find.

can't wait

do be...doobeedoo

2009-07-08T12:32:00.003-10:00

So I'm sitting at work.

Bored.

Apparently only a handful of students need an English tutor this summer.

So my task is to create an online APA style guide. But if I work on it all the time every day, I would have finished it weeks ago. And now I'd have even more time on my hands.

Only one more test and my independent study class is finished. At last.

And I can get back to my books.

And feasting upon those glorious words. For pleasure. For two months. Before I return to forcedly and reluctantly reading what I would otherwise find entirely enjoyable. Before I return to my last four months of tests and quizzes and papers that say all the same things. Two months before I dive into the the last four months of my formal undergraduate education. That means I have six months before I have to be a real person in the real world.

Which means I should probably get on the whole "figuring out what I want to do with my life" thing.

I guess I always thought I'd get to college and I would just know what I was supposed to be. Do. Ugh. Marxism. We are what we do. Why are we what we do? Being and doing. That's just one view. But that one view is so engrained in our discourse already. Unconscious and unseperate. "Tell me about yourself..." "Well I'm a teacher../I'm a student...I'm a photographer" "I...do." "I do."

All I really want to do is sit in the sun and read books. Bake. Make people feel good. Color. Get my hands dirty. Go barefoot. Wash dishes in warm water. Decorate my house. Write. Love my friends and family. Love strangers and acquaintances. Dance whenever I feel like it. Burn insence. Explore the wilderness. Explore the world.

What does that make me be? Or is it what I already am?

I'm really cold.

And full of nonsense.

fighter beautiful hands and feet flesh lover flesh canoe

2009-07-06T10:21:00.005-10:00

wow! it's been awhile. i coordinated an efy session last week. i'll be writing about that soon. for now, feast your eyes and ears:

"Is this heaven?"

2009-06-23T12:13:00.004-10:00

"No, it's Iowa."

one month until i return to the homeland for a short visit. i love love love living in hawaii, but there's just no place like home.

[photos: 1,4,6,7,8,9 Todd Ehlers; 2,3,5 mine! check out Mr. Ehlers' stunning set on flickr: beautiful iowa]

grab onto the ankles of happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt

2009-06-20T10:58:00.004-10:00

A little while back, I was visiting a career counselor for advice on what the heck to do with my life. (I still have no clue. I am just not as concerned about figuring it all out right now.) And as we discussed what things I valued most, aesthetics always came to the top of the list.

As Katie said one day, "Erika just likes pretty things!"

Although at first I wanted to shy away from that claim -- it seems so shallow and...unrealistic! And ridiculous! -- upon further contemplation I have decided there is nothing shameful about loving what is beautiful and desiring to surround yourself with it. There's just something about beauty that breaks your heart and stitches it back together at the same time. Beauty can lighten the darkest of days and offer comfort when all seems hideous and hopeless. I am a firm believer that there is beauty and wonder in everything this world has to offer. And I want to enjoy it all.

"In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.

To devote yourself to the creation and enjoyment of beauty, then, can be a serious business -- not always a means of escaping reality, but sometimes a means of holding on to the real when everything else is flaking away into...rhetoric and plot...

You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

"This is not selfishness, but obligation."

Thanks Liz. Eat, Pray, Love. An old favourite. Definitely a must read.

project time

2009-06-17T09:20:00.002-10:00

i want to make some of these! art night? soon?

except who says they have to be black and white? hows abouts a splash of color in there?

hokay! sounds great!

p.s. thank you to ting for showing me color me katie!

the dicks

2009-06-16T09:11:00.007-10:00

So at first I meant for this post to be an ode to real life freckles, but somewhere along the line it turned into an ode to my dear sweet family. So here's some random photos I found on my hard drive and a few little tidbits about the fambam. Meet the Dicks:

oh. that's me. this was originally in here because it showcases a few of my frecklies that have pretty much disappeared since the hawaiian sun kissed my skin. See?

Next is Nicole:

Nicole is such a ham. This was taken the summer before my senior year of high school -- so it's a bit old -- but this encapsulates Princess Nicole Marie. She's a lady, alright! And she will sure let you know it! She's the sweetest soul and is going to make an incredible mother; she mothers everyone and everything, always has. Just be careful when she bakes cookies for you. One disaster batch (with 1/4 c. of salt) has become the family joke.

This is Danielle! She's the goofiest of the bunch. She's super smart, super motivated, and super loud. Danielle brings a whole new energy level when she comes home. Even though neither of us can remember one another until her senior year of high school (it's weird), we've been super close ever since then. Danielle always says I'm the smart one, Nicole is the sweet one, and she is the one who farts on command. I think that pretty much sums her up.

And here's my Mama, Mary Lu:

Isn't she lovely? My mother is one of the most fascinating individuals I have ever met. You'd think I'd have her figured out after spending months in her belly and the next 18 years under her roof, but she is always surprising me. She is the young actress/dancer/cheerleader turned parole officer/prison inmate counselor/state penitentiary treatment director. Pretty intense. But she's so goofy and sarcastic and loves adventure novels from African safaris and she knows anything and everything about mountain climbing. She exercises all the time but can still enjoy a pan of brownies on Sunday evening. She takes pleasure in small delights and loves learning new things. She's always giving away what she has. She loves everyone so much! And she's just as lovely now as when she was young.

Oh Papa. Meet Jim. James. This is the man who gave me my eyes, nose, lips, ears, hands and feet (i know that sounds weird, but my dad has great feet! and ours match almost perfectly...mine being more feminine though of course), and my sense of humor. He is the youngest soul I've ever met. And as equally fascinating as my mother. He is the high school and college sports star turned art major/teacher/principal/superintendent. My dad loves kids so much. He is such a kid! He is one of the most well-balanced individuals I've ever met and he never stops learning. He can go from watching three hours of football to watching a musical and crying shamelessly. He reads books and then breaks out the power tools. And he's got the biggest, kindest heart. He's always worrying about so-and-so and just wants everyone to be happy.

Aren't they just the cutest? They are so in love.

bahhahah! oh nicole! her crazy curls and big glasses. so great!

and danielle the dancer.

check out that feast! no wonder my dad looks so sleepy/happy.

Mary Lu and Danielle

oh easter morning photos.

who is that cool cat?

what a fox, mom!

oh fambam. i will see you in five weeks!

more love for the day

2009-06-15T22:50:00.002-10:00

freckles.
check out this amazing post of the lovliest freckled faces i've ever seen

it's love, not santa claus

2009-06-15T10:17:00.007-10:00

I am wasting time this morning.

Usually (well, "usual" as last week) by this time I have read my scriptures, eaten breakfast, laid around, exercised, and am on my way to shower.

Today I have yet to leave my bed (besides the trip to the kitchen to bring my breakfast back to bed).

Maybe I'm just basking in the fact that it is summer. Maybe I am finally catching up on all the sleep I missed and my body is relishing the soft bed, cool fan, and warm sun. Maybe I just love the contentness radiating from the pit of my belly as I revel in all of the possibility and anticipation building in the clouds and the blue sky. Maybe I just love the way summer makes me feel like a kid again -- full of energy and excitement and in awe of the simplest things. Maybe the key is to surround myself with people who give me the summer-effect -- thank goodness I already have amazing friends who do that for me.

Maybe I just can't get enough of this blog: le love or this one: rockstar diaries

I've followed them both for months upon months. What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic.

As much as I complain about how everyone I know is getting married, I couldn't be happier. Maybe I just love seeing people in love. That spark is contagious! I love the peace and utter glee that just oozes from lovely lovers of loving love (Aquabats, anyone?).

Maybe I really want to see this movie:

Maybe because I've been a sucker for Joseph Gordon-Levitt since 3rd Rock from the Sun, and I can't get enough of a man in a sweater vest. And maybe I have a girl crush on Zooey Deschanel. And I may also happen to love The Smiths and Regina Spektor. And Sundance. Sun. Dance.

Maybe I just love summer. And maybe I just love love (or the idea of love?).

And maybe it's time to get out of bed.

some day

2009-06-14T22:53:00.010-10:00

Okay, so a few of you already know how much I love Urban Outfitters apartment stuffs. Here is further proof of my adoration and a few dream pieces for a dream house. Some day I will be a real person and live in a real house.... Some day.

let's be roommies?

may i just say

2009-06-13T20:28:00.002-10:00

I just WUB my friends. SO MUCH.

Right now I really miss my boos...boo's...booze? (You know who you are. Come back to me.)

Anywho. This girl and I were making plans today:

Check out Alyssa's blog entry. Golly I just miss her stinkin' guts!

sun it rises

2009-06-13T11:25:00.002-10:00

inspiring

2009-06-10T23:27:00.004-10:00

a dear friend showed me this.
caution:language
caution:may change you

What made the beauty of the moon? What made the beauty of the sea?
Did that beauty make you? Did that beauty make me?
Well, it made me something.
Will I be something?
Am I something?
And the answer comes:
Already am.
Always was.
And I still have time to be.

here comes the sun

2009-06-06T15:55:00.008-10:00

playing with my new favourite toyenjoying hawaiigetting some sunshine
going back to iowa seeing my famblycuddling with my best friend
and playing with my dear twins

those friendly little links

2009-06-01T16:52:00.004-10:00

Collar City Records linked to another of my reviews.

Check it out my review for Matthew Loiacono's Penny Riddle EP and also take a gander at Derek's interview with the man!

what a guy, what a guy

2009-05-31T15:56:00.004-10:00

So, remember my post about Sean Rowe? And seeing a link to my review posted on his record company website?

Probably not.

But the nicest thing happened a couple weeks ago: he sent me an email thanking me for the review!

What a nice guy!

More reviews and another interview coming soon! In the mean time, check out what everyone else is writing!! http://www.inyourspeakers.com

the knower and the know cannot be separated

2009-05-27T11:27:00.003-10:00

doing a little post-positivist theories in my nationalism class

Karl Popper and squishy knowledge.

He says every branch of knowledge requires a degree of faith. Knowledge changes your world view, your reality. Everyone has different experiences and connections that mix with said knowledge to shade reality. Therefore, everyone's reality is different. Everything is relative.

What do you think?

happy happy joy joy

2009-05-14T18:47:00.004-10:00

Why have I waited this long to post this?

My dear sweet wonderful roommate Katie is getting married! To my super friend Nate!

The other night I was sleeping and then I heard Collette screaming and then I saw something shiny on Katie's hand. And then we all screamed and stayed up really late. I'm very very very very excited for them.

This is a picture I took from Nate's blog. See more here.
Read a snippet at Cup of Jo. And read the whole story at Glamour's Smitten blog.
Oh how seeing other people so happy just makes my heart so happy! Seriously, congratulations you two!
Love,
erika

living rooftops

2009-05-13T11:24:00.007-10:00

Latest National Geographic has a sweeeet article about living rooftops.

They cut back on storm-water runoff
increase energy efficiency by reducing heating and cooling costs

provide a home to friendly little insects, birds, and small critters

have the capacity to nourish vegetation, replacing land we've lost on the gound

"Think of the millions of acres of unnatural rooftops around the gobe. And now imagine returning some of that enormous human footprint to nature -- creating green spaces where there was once only asphalt and gravel. If a certain sum of human happiness is the by-product, who's to complain?"

really

2009-05-11T10:22:00.000-10:00

how many times can life turn upside down in a year?

entering panic mode

summer reading

2009-05-08T21:51:00.002-10:00

:: Going Out: The Rise and Fall of Public Amusement (David Nasaw)
:: The Giver (Lois Lowry)
:: Finding Freedom: Writings from Death Row (Jarvis Jay Masters)
:: The Greengage Summer (Rumer Godden)
:: Nerds: Who They Are and Why We Need More of Them (David Anderegg)
:: A Confederacy of Dunces (John Kennedy Toole)
:: Up the Amazon Without a Paddle (Doug Lansky)
:: The Neon Bible (John Kennedy Toole)
:: Kitchen Literacy: How We Lost Our Knowledge of Where Food Comes From and Why We Need to Get it Back (Ann Vileisis)
:: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Dave Eggers)
:: Buying In: The Secret Dialogue Between What We Buy and Who We Are (Rob Walker)
:: Reading in the Dark (Seamus Deane)
:: Freedom for the Thought That We Hate: A Biography of the First Ammendment (Anthony Lewis)
:: Locked in the Cabinet (Robert B. Reich)
:: Smarts: Are We Hardwired for Success? (Chuck Martin)
:: Memoirs (Pablo Neruda)
:: If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence, and Spirit (Brenda Ueland)
:: Up the Down Staircase (Bel Kaufman)
:: The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion)
:: The Awakening (Kate Chopin)
:: We (Yevegeny Zamyatin)
:: A Short History of Nearly Everything (Bill Bryson)
:: A Man For All Seasons (Robert Bolt)
:: My Name is Asher Lev (Chaim Potok)
:: Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millennium (Dick Meyer)

any suggestions?

art stuffs

2009-05-08T16:52:00.007-10:00

projects of the past year (and past years) that i happen to have with me at my hawaii home

Okay, so this first is a collaborative effort. our senior year of high school, Ella, Severie, and I painted this giant..painting. Every few minutes we would turn the paper, painting and repainting. We cut it into thirds and we each took a piece with us to college. We are planning to do another this summer. I can hardly wait!
oil pastels

chalk pastels!

collage time

an old, old painting. "I Will Love You"

hah! blind work. i used an ink pen, and could not look at the paper, so dipping and refilling ink, then trying to reposition the pen was interesting =)

team effort. dinner drawing

backdrop? for something?

squished little Ganesh

Easter Sunday

Pattern For Living No.1965

2009-05-08T10:01:00.002-10:00

"They must not weigh us down -- these tragic things. How can they, if we find a heart that laughs and sings, some part of every day? I think that surely God approves of play, so whimsical is He in His way..."

wisdom from a retired navy-woman

2009-05-08T09:56:00.003-10:00

"If I'm going to die happy, well, I'm going to die happy. Even if my teeth aren't brushed and they're full of pizza."
-- my aunt shirley

I think I may go ahead and have that ice cream sandwich for breakfast.

que [ustedes] tengan un buen dia

2009-05-05T11:48:00.001-10:00

future maybe?

2009-05-03T16:03:00.004-10:00

Doing my research on grad schools. I searched real hard last fall, thinking I'd graduate in June. Then in October I applied for the Peace Corps. In January I got my passport, and in February I received my baggage tag and another letter letting me know I would get my assignment in the next few months. And then I went home.

And I'm no longer graduating in June...
And they cancelled my Peace Corps application.

And now I don't know what I want at all.
I will graduate in December. And it's looking like I will move to Salt Lake. Good friends, enough connections to find a place to live and to get a job until I decide what's next.

Today my mom suggested I look at U of U. My oldest sister applied there (and ended up in Illinois for a year before getting married, finishing at UNI, and now she and her hubby are getting their Ph.D.'s at LSU) but I had never considered it.

So far, I like the looks of this: Environmental Humanities -- "a humanities perspective on environmental ares of scholarship...The program is designed to provide students with a broad-based understanding of social, cultural, ethical, historical, communication, and literary perspectives and with a focus on how these humanities perspectives intersect with and influence public policy, scientific, legal, industrial, and corporate concerns."

The courses are taken from the Communications, English, History, Languages & Literature, Linguistics, and Philosophy departments. I'm a big fan of the range of all of the courses, and I've already taken several of them in undergrad studies (International Cultural Studies/World Humanities). But I really like the looks of Contemporary Social Movements, Public Relations Issues and Campaigns, Community Engagement, History of Rhetorical Movements, Studies in Nonfiction Prose, Environmental Writing, Ecocriticism, Wonder, and the Spiritual Imagination, Folklore Method and Theory (even though it looks a lot like my Narrative, Identity, and Culture class), Global Environmental History, Colonies and Cultures, Philosophy of Language, and Comtemporary Ethical Theory.

I have no idea what I would do with that after, but I likes the looks of it. I think this program may be worth looking into.

(p.s. how many times can i write "i like the looks of" in one blogpost?)

so this is kinda cool

2009-05-01T08:55:00.004-10:00

So I wandered over to Collar City Records this morning to do a little research on my next review -- Matthew Loiacono -- and low and behold, I saw thisA link to my review for the album Magic! Click here to see the review for yourself!

one zero zero

2009-04-27T19:10:00.002-10:00

So, this is my 100th post. I feel like I should do something monumental, celebrate one hundred electronic journal entries posted for all of the world wide web to see should they ever stumble upon my humble blog. I suppose I'll be reminiscent about it, and post some of my favourites from the past year. Enjoy.

:: So this is the new year
:: Where else is there?
:: Musings aboard a modern flying machine
:: "You're not silly, you're human"
:: Another sunny days
:: Nature without check with original energy
:: Presence
:: i love my roommate
:: I just can't get enough
:: Snowed in
:: So this is the new year (again)
:: For every atom as good belonging to me belongs to you
:: A few treasures
:: bottle mermaid eyebrow rain
:: face-licked

**as i reread these, i notice all sorts of grammatical errors and inconsistencies. oh well. this isn't work. this isn't school. this is for enjoyment, imperfections and all. **

dwindling numbers

2009-04-25T08:56:00.004-10:00

I love spring time. I love the sense of awakening, of renewals, and of the overall uplifting sense that all will be well.

But spring takes those I love from me. The hardest part of staying in Hawaii year round is that you watch everyone else go. I know I'll see these lovely ladies again, but golly! I just sure love them and I would just like to have them with me always. we tackled bonnie and cuddled on the floor a bit the night before she left.

we ventured all the way into the airport with alyssa and shouted goodbyes as we walked away

now it's just me and spaghettie for the rest of the term. so grateful we ended up roommates. don't know what i'd do without you, G.F. let's just not think about june quite yet

<3

desire

2009-04-21T21:47:00.001-10:00

stroke of brilliance

2009-04-21T21:34:00.003-10:00

So I got a new bike a couple weeks ago. Clint Eastwood. 'Spose I'll have some pictures of the handsome fella up soon. I just need to a do a little more work on the paint.

Anyways, so Mr.Eastwood has quite the cushy seat. But the cushy seat soaks up a lot of water. Now, I love having a nice, plump, soft place to rest my tush. I really do -- especially when I'm riding my bike twenty-plus miles up the north shore. I do not, however, enjoy having no overhang to park my bike under when I'm at school. Soggy seat. Soggy seat that makes my tush drippy when I stand up.

And here is where I am a bit vain. I have seen people with plastic Foodland bags over their bike cushions, and thought "Oh gee. Ghetto island at it again." But now I know that those people are placing that plastic as sog protection. As much as I love all the trashy (get it? anyone else use those bags to line your trash cans? hmm hmm?) little quirks of living in this place, I just don't like riding with the white filmly bag and mossy green Foodland emblem displayed across my rear.

And then it hit me: a shower cap.

I am getting one tomorrow.

inyourspeakers

2009-04-21T18:10:00.004-10:00

my first interview was posted today. click on the picture to go check it out! and click here to check Now, Now Every Children's myspace. my goodness, this was too fun. cacie was so nice! and so fun to talk to! a natural storyteller. i barely had to prompt her to get any sort of information. and that was nice because i had no idea what i was doing! can't wait to do it again

Also, two more reviews posted this week: Great Northern and Camera Obscura

always wished i had a tree house

2009-04-21T08:09:00.004-10:00

hello me, where did you go?

2009-04-20T21:52:00.002-10:00

today i realized i have forgotten how to be a person.

and this was a long time coming. i'm not sure how it happened, or where. but i just kinda...stopped. i stopped saying things i normally would. stopped speaking up and out. i started getting self-conscious. i started biting my tongue and swallowing my giggles. i started getting nervous and began to doubt.

just a little at a time.

and all of a sudden i was trying to have a conversation and i realized i didn't really know how. i was watching everyone around me be so clever and quick witted. i watched them say silly or stupid things unabashedly. i watched others lap it up and bark out their own replies. and i watched. and wished i could chime in, but i had nothing to say. and it made me real sad.

so i left the house later and i just decided i would blab all night. to anyone and everyone. just say whatever i wanted. even if it was just purring, because i seem to be doing a lot of that lately. and you know what? i had fun. i felt good.

and now i feel relieved. i'm still a person. still a person somewhere inside of myself.

spring time goal to add to the list:
find myself again and be a person all the time.

of mice and kitchens

2009-04-20T17:02:00.003-10:00

is it bad that the mouse in our kitchen does not creep me out at all?

and that i really don't care that the little guy lives in our house?

finding that poor little mouse stuck to the trap in our old house was one of the most terrifying things i've seen.

and this little mouse isn't bothering anyone, really. he's probably just lonely and likes it in our house. i don't blame him! i like our house too.

i just don't want to be here when the poor fellow gets caught

over and over again

2009-04-17T01:02:00.003-10:00

it hits me.
my grandmother's death.
i still can't always say that. when i'm talking to people, i just say i had to go home for a bit. i never tell them all of this

When i'm reading a book, or riding the bus, sitting in bed, or singing a song, it hits me. Out of nowhere. And sometimes it is gone again in a few seconds, and other times i need to step out for a little bit.

i had my first real cry the other night. an all out sob to four open ears and two open hearts. i thought hope would make it easier, but i don't think i can fully grasp that yet.

Reading Tuesdays With Morrie makes me feel better about this whole "grieving" thing. It's okay to be sad and let the sadness run it's course. then accept it, set it aside, and replace the space with hope, and pure love.

i'm not sure how long it will take, but just so you know: most of the time, i really am doing okay.

i just miss my grandmother.

face-licked

2009-04-17T00:11:00.002-10:00

by a giant wookie dog: